EPISODE 38: ATTACHMENT STYLES WITH KIM KIMBALL

EPISODE 38: ATTACHMENT STYLES WITH KIM KIMBALL

* Please Note - Some links in this post may be affiliate links *

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited certified life coach Kim Kimball, to come on the show and teach us all about the different attachment styles people can have in various types of relationship in our lives.

Kim Kimball is best known for helping ambitious women heal their codependent and hyper-independent behaviors so that they can have thriving relationships with partners, family, friends and colleagues. She uses mind + body based approaches to coach women to understand the ‘why’ behind their behavioral patterns.

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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about attachment styles, relationships, somatic healing and therapy.

To learn more about Kim Kimball - CLICK HERE

I hope you enjoy this episode about attachment styles, relationships, somatic healing and therapy as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT STYLES -

Avoidant Attachment - an attachment style that develops during early childhood, often occurring in children who do not experience kind and sensitive responses to their needs or distress. Children with an avoidant attachment style may become very independent, both physically and emotionally and turn into adults who avoid conflict and have a hard time expressing their feelings.

Anxious Attachment - an attachment stye where a person may have a hard time feeling secure in relationships. As young children, they may cling to caregivers or become inconsolable when a caregiver leaves. As adults they become needy, argumentative, whiny, and even clingy, and often have a hard time trusting people. They may also exhibit low self worth.

Fearful-Avoidant/Disorganized Attachment - an attachment style that develops from a parent's consistent failure to respond appropriately to their child's distress, or by a parent's inconsistent response to their child's feelings of fear or distress. They may have at one moment experienced soothing, the next angry or overwhelmed causing them to become very fearful when in relationships.

Secure Attachment - an attachment style where the person feels secure sharing their feelings in a relationship and can trust their partner has the best intentions. As adults they are able to have trusting, lasting relationships, feel supported by their partner, are not afraid to seek out support and tend to have good self esteem.

- BOOK A FREE 60 MIN COACHING SESSION WITH KIM -

‘I'd love to gift a complimentary, pitch-free, 60 min coaching session to your listeners who feel called to explore more deeply.’ - KIM KIMBALL

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- Where To Find Kim Kimball Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @kimkimballcoaching
WEBSITE ▶ www.kimkimballcoaching.com
FACEBOOK ▶ Kim Kimball Coaching

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If you have any comments or questions about this episode on attachment styles, relationships, omatic healing and therapy, feel free to leave your thought below!

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EPISODE 26: 2021 RELATIONSHIP GOALS WITH SPLASH OF ASH

EPISODE 26: 2021 ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP GOALS WITH SPLASH OF ASH

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Ashley Parker from Splash of Ash to come on and share some 2021 relationship goals with us!

For those who don’t know Ashley, she has spent most of her life dedicated to caring for others and helping them cultivate a life they love. Having received a Bachelor in Psychology and Masters in Mental Health, Ashley worked as a Clinical Mental Health counselor before starting her lifestyle and wellness brand ‘Splash of Ash.

Since Valentine’s day is coming up and cultivating true lasting love’ is a pillar in just about everybody’s life, I thought it would be fun to have Ashley come on and give us all a little pep talk on how we can step up our relationship with these 2021 romantic relationship goals!

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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about 2021 couple relationship goals, how to cultivate more self-love, and the power of ‘I Feel’ statements. Also, don’t forget to check out all our graphics with quotes about relationship goals!

To learn more about Ashley Parker visit her website: https://splashofash.co

I hope you enjoy this episode about relationship goals as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- Where To Find Ashley Parker Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @a_splashofash
WEBSITE ▶ https://splashofash.co

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If you have any comments or questions about this episode on romantic couple goals or have some goals for relationships you want o share with me, feel free to leave them below

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EPISODE 23: FINDING YOUR IDENTITY WITH TOSIN ODUGBEMI

EPISODE 23: FINDING YOUR IDENTITY WITH TOSIN ODUGBEMI

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited visual designer and founder of Tosin Odugbemi Design, Tosin Odugbemi, to come on the podcast and share her story of growing up as the only black immigrant in a small suburb of Edmonton, how she overcame her struggles around finding her identity and how she now helps others find and execute theirs visually through branding and design.

Tosin, for those who don’t know her, is a visual designer and an academic who is passionate about crafting a beautiful, intentional and thoughtful life. Her goal is to assist others in their design and branding journeys by helping them to realize their vision through creating bespoke and timeless visual designs for them. With a conscientious eye for observing details, Tosin studies forms, textures, colors, fit and function, and is sensitive to harmony or lack thereof. Her visual imagination has been thoroughly trained through years of design education which has now led her to be able to assist clients in telling their stories visually too.

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Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about growing up as an immigrant and what struggles come with it in regards to finding your identity, what a third culture kid is, and Tosin’s journey of healing and self-discovery which allowed her to explore her talents and identity with harmony.

To learn more about Tosin contact her at www.oluwatosin.net

I hope you enjoy this episode on finding your identity, finding your life purpose, and finding your voice as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- ADDITIONAL RESOURCES -

Third Culture Kids - In this 3rd edition of the ground-breaking global classic, Ruth E. Van Reken and Michael V. Pollock, son of the late original co-author, David C. Pollock, have significantly updated what is widely recognized as "The TCK Bible." Emphasis is on the modern TCK and addressing the impact of technology, cultural complexity, diversity and inclusion and transitions. Includes new advice for parents and others for how to support TCKs as they navigate work, relationships, social settings and their own personal development.

2) A Story To Tell: The Identity Development of Women Growing Up As Third Culture Kids By Kate A. Walters - Downloadable PDF

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- Where To Find Tosin Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @TosinOdugbemi
WEBSITE ▶ www.oluwatosin.net
FACEBOOK ▶ https://www.facebook.com/oluwatosinodugbemidesign

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If you have any comments or questions about this episode on finding your self, finding your purpose and, finding your voice, feel free to leave them below

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EPISODE 21: STEPPING INTO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF WITH KARA LATTA

EPISODE 21: STEPPING INTO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF WITH KARA LATTA

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Kara Latta, Founder and Chief Fun Officer of The Playful Warrior and the Creator of ThoughtPLAY, to come on the podcast and share with us some tips and advice on how to step into and fully embrace our authentic selves.

Kara, for those who don’t know her, helps people embody and express their true self through the power of play and subconscious reprogramming. Through her ThoughtPLAY program, Kara takes clients on an incredible 8-week PLAY journey to reconnect with your inherent nature, uninhibited creativity and infinite possibilities.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about shadow work, the importance of playfulness, connecting with your inner child and reprogramming of the subconscious mind.

To learn more about Kara’s ThoughtPLAY program or contact her at www.ThePlayfulWarrior.com

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- Recommended Resources -

Lonerwolf - a modern hub for down-to-earth spiritual seekers. Our philosophy is to walk the path less traveled and listen to your soul's calling.

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- Meet My Inner Child -

When I requested to meet my inner child, 5 year old me from Montalcino, Tuscany showed up. A happy, innocent, playful child who loves life, is always smiling and just wants to be friends.

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- Where To Find Kara Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @ThePlayfulWarrior
WEBSITE ▶ www.ThePlayfulWarrior.com

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EPISODE 20: HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS WITH TESS BRIGHAM

EPISODE 20: HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS WITH TESS BRIGHAM

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Tess Brigham (LMFT, BCC) to come on and teach us how to overcome the quarter-life crisis!

For those who don’t know Tess, she is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Board-Certified Coach that specializes in helping Millennials discover their unique life path so they can go out into the world and make an impact.

At age 27, Tess seemed to have it all as a top Hollywood junior talent manager. But on the inside, things felt empty and pointless. She took a huge risk, quit her job, and rebuilt a career and life she loved. Now she helps other early-career professionals navigate the same quarter-life crisis process.

With over 15 years of experience, Tess has helped thousands of people find their purpose, develop their confidence and create a life they’re excited about living. Identifying your issues is one thing, taking action to get past them is another. Tess’s rare combination of being a trained psychotherapist and a certified coach make her uniquely qualified to help young adults find clarity so they can confidently discover their path and make an impact on the world.

She has been featured on the TV show “The Doctors” and is a regular contributor at CNBC as “The Millennial Therapist.” She has also been a featured Millennial expert at NBC News, Oprah Magazine, MindBodyGreen, Yahoo News, USA Today, Mic, Real Simple, Chicago Tribune, Huff Post, Brit & Co, Bustle, She Knows, Primer Magazine, GenTwenty, I Am & Co, Chelsea Krost, Insider, Creative Global, Thrive Global and Thought Catalog.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about decisive decision making, embracing your journey and filling your life with purpose.

To learn more about Tess’s Find Your Path Course or contact her at Www.TessBrigham.Com

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- Recommended Readings -

The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.

Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.

In this must-read book for anyone striving to succeed, pioneering psychologist Angela Duckworth shows parents, educators, athletes, students, and business people-both seasoned and new-that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a focused persistence called “grit.”

Why do some people succeed and others fail? Sharing new insights from her landmark research on grit, MacArthur “genius” Angela Duckworth explains why talent is hardly a guarantor of success. Rather, other factors can be even more crucial such as identifying our passions and following through on our commitments.

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- Where To Find Tess Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @Tess_bringham
WEBSITE ▶ Www.TessBrigham.Com
TWITTER ▶ @MFTTess
FACEBOOK ▶ Tess Brigham Coaching

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EPISODE 19: HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THRIVE WITH LEISSE WILCOX

EPISODE 19: HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP THRIVE WITH LEISSE WILCOX

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited Leisse Wilcox, a master mindset + success coach who is changing the global conversation on emotional health and self-love, to come on the podcast and impart her wisdom on how to make your relationship thrive!

Leisse, if you have never heard of her, is a passionate speaker, dynamic thought leader, author, NLP practitioner, top podcast host, cancer survivor, mom of three, and taco enthusiast. Her entire experience has been about coming home to her truest self and calling herself “beloved,” knowing intimately that changing the world starts by making the changes we want to see within ourselves first. 

She is also a TEDx speaker, the bestselling author of "To Call Myself Beloved: a Story of Hope, Healing, and Coming Home," and can be found on Season 2 of Amazon Prime’s The Social Movement.

Today on the podcast we are going to be talking about Feminine and Masculin energies, love languages, the impacts of covid, triggers that can arise during the holidays, self-soothing techniques, and how to find the courage to step into your authentic self.

To learn more about Leisse, work with her privately, or check out her online courses, you can contact her at LeisseWilcox.com.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- Breaking Down Feminine and Masculine Energies -

Feminine Energies - Your feminine side gets expressed when you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and attune to your internal process.

Masculine Energies - Your masculine side gets expressed when you're working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and pushing forward.

- Understanding Love Languages -

Dr. Gary Chapman, the grandfather of love languages, first outlined in his book ‘The 5 Love Languages”, five general ways romantic partners express and experience love. They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

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- Purchase Leisse’s Best Selling Book! -

This is a story of coming home to yourself. To Call Myself Beloved: A Story of Hope, Healing, and Coming Home offers the permission you’ve been looking for to simply be yourself and accept that with courage, pride, and grace. It really is that simple, even if it is that complicated. Too many of us are tethered to the expectations of other people, living with the feeling that we need to look outside ourselves to feel whole and loved, that we need to keep “the mask” on and hide who we really are; we read book after book, see therapist after therapist, take course after course, all with the intent to “fix what’s broken,” sending us on a quest to continuously solve a problem that isn’t real with a solution that doesn’t exist. And it leaves us dissatisfied, constantly wanting more. The secret is, we’re not broken, we are healing. We are learning to sort through the messages of what we’ve been told are true versus what we believe to be true, and we are figuring out how it aligns with what we want out of our life. Equal parts self-help, memoir, and cozied up on the couch talking to a trusted friend, To Call Myself Beloved is informed by lessons learned through navigating the most cataclysmic events of one woman’s life, and realizing throughout each one that “I am still okay.” Let this book guide you through the process of adulting—finding clarity in what you want, confidence in who you are, and the courage to stay true to both, even if that means making big changes in mindset and behavior—simply through the rebellious act of being yourself. This is the chaos of becoming. Can you love yourself enough to come home to yourself, and learn to call yourself beloved? Yes, you f*cking can.

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- Where To Find Leisse Online -

INSTAGRAM ▶ @LeisseWilcox
COACHING WEBSITE ▶LeisseWilcox.com
PODCAST ▶ To Call Myself Beloved
PINTEREST ▶ @LeisseWilcox

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EPISODE 18: TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS WITH YASMIN ELZOMOR

EPISODE 18: TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS WITH YASMIN ELZOMOR

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Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited content creator and life coach Yasmin Elzomor to come on the show to discuss toxic friendships.

Everyone goes through a situation at some point in their life where they have to ‘break up’ with a friend. Maybe there was some buildup resentment that caused it or maybe things became competitive or some jealousy started to bubble up in the relationship. Perhaps one of you had a secret crush that was never reciprocated or maybe it’s as simple as two people growing apart and wanting different things.

Often times, when we find ourselves in these situations we get stuck in this cycles of hanging on to people we should walk away from because either you or they hold onto the memories of good times, the hope that whatever is happening is just a phase that will pass or because ‘you’ve just known each other for so damn long’ and that alone brings you some form of comfort.

People grow apart though. People evolve and it’s okay to let go of people, especially when those friendships become toxic and no longer serve you the way they used to.

Realizing that you need to let go of a friendship can be a hard pill to swallow but there’s a great saying that I love to share with people when they find themselves in that situation and it goes like this,

“People enter our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and we only get disappointed by them when try to force the relationships beyond its purpose.”

So that is why I thought I’d discuss this topic with Yasmin and have her share some of her wisdom and insights on how to identify red flags as well as what to do when you find yourself in a toxic friendship.

Yasmin Elzomor is a NYC-based Life + Manifestation Coach that specializes in relationships, helping others manifest their ideal life by teaching the importance of shadow work and facing the challenges that blog us from stepping into our power. She believes that having passion, drive, motivation and the right mindset will allow you to take control of your life and step confidently into your power.

After hitting her rock bottom, that transformational journey gave her the calling to help others connect with their pain, find the power, and attract healthier relationships. In the past couple years, she has gained a large following on Instagram and aspires to influence and inspire others to walk the walk; not just talk the talk. Yasmin specializes in issues like the influence that Social Media has made on society and relationships, boundaries, and manifestation.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

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- Toxic Friendship Red Flags -

- boundaries are being disregarded
- being disrespected
- inconsistencies in the friendship
- codependency
- jealousy
- competitiveness
- belittling and putting you down
- are patronizing
- not supportive of your success
- gossip
- can sincerely apologize
- makes you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells
- leave you unsettled
- putting their needs front and center

- Healthy Friendship Signs -

- open communication
- quality time
- mutual respect
- listening without judgment
- making shared decisions
- feeling accepted
- feeling safe around each other

- Effects Toxic Friendships Have On Your Mental Health -

- Drained after talking to them/hanging out with them
- effect your sense of identity
- ruin your self esteem
- bring on anxiety and depression

- Narcissism Red Flags -

- lack of empathy
- controlling behavior
- complete disregard for needs and boundaries
- intense lying
- gaslighting
- subtle manipulation

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-Additional Resources -

1. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie - Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
   
   With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.

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- Where To Find Yasmin Online -

PERSONAL INSTAGRAM ▶ @yasminelzomor
COACHING INSTAGRAM ▶ @theyasminelzomor
PODCAST ▶ Humanity Feels

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EPISODE 5: HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PARTNER

EPISODE 5: HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PARTNER

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today I am coming to you from the comforts of my at-home walk-in closet which I have now dubbed COVID studios. LOL

In today’s episode, I wanted to talk to you about relationships and how to attract the right partner.

Obviously, relationships can play a huge role in a person’s mental health and so I think today’s topic is one that many of us can relate to.

Even if you are in a relationship, there will probably be some solid insights and good reminders in this episode to help you approach your current relationship in a healthier way, so please be open-minded.

All right?! Beautiful! Let’s get started!

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“I feel like everyone is trying to find or attract their twin flame without realizing that you have to make sure you are burning first, that you are a flame, that you’re own self worth and self-value are high, that you love yourself first. Then THEY will find YOU. Find yourself first. No one is attracted to ashes.”

— Jordan Flesher

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Obviously you want a partner that brings out the best in you but attracting the right partner actually has more to do with how you treat and honor yourself than it does with finding that perfect person that clicks with you. First, you need to work on yourself and make your flame bright before you can attract a partner. How do you do this? Well, the key to attacking the right partner is to first establish your own self worth and confidence.

Self Worth and Confidence:

• Be good at something - people are naturally attracted to people who are successful and motivated. If you have something going for you that you are really good at, people will admire the dedication and skills you have. Having something that means something to you, that you pursue seriously and do really well at, is going to give you confidence and be a source of self-worth.
  
  

• Laugh at yourself - being confident and having self-worth also means you can acknowledge your own quirks and laugh at them. Being able to laugh and not take yourself so seriously makes you fun to be around and will make everyone enjoy your company even more!
  
  

• Respect yourself, take care of your health, put yourself together, be productive - practicing self-love is not only good for your mental health but it will help you build up your self-worth. Taking the time to put yourself together and implement healthy practices like working out, setting boundaries and being productive will help you build up both self-worth and confidence.
  
  

• Have your own life and don’t make yourself always available - this is a big one because when we are excited about something, we tend to want to jump headfirst into it but in order to maintain the self-worth and confidence that you have worked so hard on building up, you also have to learn to set boundaries.

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A couple years ago, I wrote an article for Valentine's Day for one of the online publications I write for, and the whole article was based on rules of dating I learned from a book that I read by Sherry Argov called ‘Why Men Love Bitches” (click here to read the full article). The whole book is about establishing boundaries when dating as a way to maintain your own self worth and confidence. It’s actually a great book that I highly recommend everyone read, boy or girl, especially if you are not good at dating or even just want a refresher.

By Sherry Argov

Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself.

Two simple concept that I learned from this book that can help you along with setting boundaries are:

• If you act like you’re capable of doing everything, you get stuck doing everything. The key lesson here being if you start to feel like you are giving more than you are receive, the power dynamic has changed and not in your favour… instead, do less. Don’t act upset just don’t give in to any more of their request and don’t go out of your way to help them anymore. If you want to be treated as an equal you must set that boundary and enforce them.

• Actions speak louder than words - an expression that has literally stood the test of time. Why? Simply, because of how much truth can be found in it. A wolf in sheep’s clothing always makes themselves known quickly through their actions. Ignoring these red flags are dangerous! That is why it is important to paying attention to a person’s actions more than their words and set boundaries as to what you will accept.

I know getting to the point where you are brimming with self-worth and confidence isn’t going to be easy but nothing worth having is. By concentrating on yourself and building yourself up, you are investing in your own value and will intern stop allowing people unworthy of your time to distract you from this effort. You will also not allow people who want to take advantage of what you have going on or that don’t take your time seriously, from disrespecting you. If you are capable of accomplishing this you should have no problem attracting the right kind of partner and building a relationship with them on a solid foundation of mutual respect. There really is no secret to dating, it all starts with you and how you show up and honor yourself.

All right, well I hope you walked away from today with some fresh insights and I just wanted to let you know that you can still sign up for my mental health challenge if you haven’t already!

If you have any questions about today’s episode feel free to leave a comment below or slide them into my DM. I wish you all a pleasant week and I look forward to catching up again next week!

Bye!

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