EPISODE 10: LOVE AND SACRED SEXUALITY WITH JORDAN FLESHER

EPISODE 10: LOVE AND SACRED SEXUALITY WITH JORDAN FLESHER

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

In today’s episode, we are talking about love and sexuality, and to help me discussed the topic I have invited sacred sexuality teacher Jordan Flesher to come on and educate us on how to enhance our sexual spirituality and manifest meeting our twin flame.

For those who don’t know Jordan or what exactly he does, he is a sacred-sexuality teacher and life-coach. He focuses on healing and abundance when it comes to our sexual health and lifestyle. Through Jordan’s teaching, he highlights the importance of healing especially for those that have experienced sexual trauma. Just like the body knows how to naturally heal itself when you get cut, it can also heal emotionally. Further, he also provides guidance that can help people tap into their own sexual energy to manifest their best and most abundant lives. Jordan works with couples, and individuals interested in attaining the highest states of self-awareness, happiness, and feelings of sexuality.

Jordan has also co-published many articles with Deepak Chopra and has attracted the attention of many celebrities such as the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, and more. He holds a Masters of Arts in Psychology and focuses on counseling work with individuals who are going through anxiety or depression, as well as those who are confused about what the Twin Flame relationship means.

He works with clients worldwide online via ZOOM, and he can be contacted through his Instagram @jordanflesher

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

A few recommended readings on spirituality by Jordan Flesher:

If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below

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EPISODE 9: BREAKING HABITS OF SELF SABOTAGE BY UNDERSTANDING SHAME

EPISODE 9: BREAKING HABITS OF SELF SABOTAGE BY UNDERSTANDING SHAME

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast

Today on the podcast I wanted to talk to you about why we self-sabotage and how by understanding shame, we can break habits that hold us back from believing we are capable of achieving what we want.

The reason why I wanted to talk to you about these topics is because I personally haven’t really been feeling so great lately and it reminded me that a lot of people struggle with this exact thing. Since I was doing the research and going on my own little self-help binge anyways, I decided that it would be useful to also share the information I found with you too so you can better understand your own self-sabotage habits and do what you can to free yourself from what is inevitably holding you back.

“A secret only has power if you keep it a secret.”

Have you ever heard the expression ‘a secret only has power if you keep it a secret’? Well, that is how shame, fear, self-doubt, and regret thrive. They make you question yourself and eat away at your confidence until you begin to self-sabotage your progress until eventually you just give up

Why do people self-sabotage?

  • A low sense of self-worth - Ironically a lot of people feel they are undeserving of success and happiness and use work to make up for inadequacies they see in themselves. These people hate themselves so much that they overwork themselves until they have no one close around them or are burnt out because deep down they think they are unworthy of true happiness.

  • Control - Sometimes it feels better to have control over your own failure rather than face the possibility of it blindsiding you and taking you by surprise. Self-sabotage is never a fun thing to do, but it can feel better than spinning out of control for some people.

  • Imposter syndrome - feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evidence of past success or external proof of being competent. This can result in someone doing the bare minimum and putting the least amount of effort into something so they can act like it doesn’t mean that much to them or if a person is still finding your footing and feel unsure of your own capabilities, they question whether they are smart enough for the job and torture themselves with the possibility of being humiliated when it all becomes revealed to the world that they can’t cut it.

    I think imposter syndrome is quite common in today’s society. We always want instant success, instant gratification, instant praise when really we need to give ourselves time to learn, adapt, and grow before we can really start to feel comfortable with our capabilities especially when starting a new role.

Photo By Samuel Elias Nadler

Photo By Samuel Elias Nadler

“I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

- Thomas Edison after inventing the lightbulb,

Instant success is as probable as winning the lottery and most people have to fail multiple times before they can find the right formula for success. Instead, learn to normalize failure as an opportunity to grow instead of a limit to a person’s abilities.

  • Needing a scapegoat - Its easier to pawn off your failure by saying, ‘well, I never paid attention in class’ instead of ‘I didn’t understand the material’ or ‘my boss plays favorites’ instead of ‘I failed to show I was more capable for the job’. Using scapegoats are an easy way for people to brush off their own failures or willingness to address and recorrect their own behaviors.

  • Lack of motivation - you have a list of stuff you need to do but instead, procrastinate until it becomes too late to get any of it done. A lack of motivation is also how we find excuses for focusing on other things besides the task at hand like needing to clean your apartment or folding laundry before you can actually sit down and get to work.


    I know I’m often guilty of doing all the little, easy stuff on my ‘to-do list’ first instead of investing my time on bigger tasks that would actually move the needle forward because they seem so daunting. This often tends to lead to the feeling of being perpetually stuck in one place because I’m ‘faking productivity’. I’m not actually doing anything productive to achieving my goals, I’m only maintaining what I have done so far, which perpetuates this vicious cycle of lacking further motivation because I’m not seeing any progress.

Connection is why we are here. The ability to feel a connection is what drives us as a society. We have this innate desire to stay connected our biggest fear and where shame thrives, is the worry of becoming disconnected.

Here is the thing about shame though, it loses its power when you talk about whatever it is that is causing you to feel the shame in the first place because, at its core, shame requires you to believe you are alone in order for it to maintain its power.

Photo by Perry Grone

Photo by Perry Grone

“Most people associate being vulnerable with weakness, uncertain risk, and exposure but in truth it’s about daring greatly.”

if we embrace the fact that no body is perfect, and begin to understand that being imperfect is not a curse but completely natural, then we can find the courage to share and see the beauty in rawness. There is courage in saying our truth and there is an opportunity for relief from internal struggle. If you can rewire out brains so that we can believe that what makes you vulnerable also makes you beautiful then it becomes a lot easier to accept parts of ourselves the once filled us with shame.

Sure it may not be comfortable to share but its also not suppose to be easy. That’s after all how shame keeps its power. It is banking on the fact that you will take the easier route. Talking about how you are felling, saying it aloud, sharing your fears not only makes it easier to expose what is really holding you back but also frees you from the power they had over you. Learning to embracing imperfection also believe it or not, makes you more relatable and beautiful because it gives you an opportunity to connect with others through a shared experience which can give you a sense of belonging.

Through empathy we can actually connect better with other. We can build connections, feel less alone, find acceptance for ourselves and more importantly move forward away from our deepest fears. We are able to turn to ourselves and finally say, ‘I am capable’, ‘I am deserving,’ and ‘I am enough’. Three statements shame tries to destroy in us if we let it.

“Shame needs three things to grow exponentially - secrecy, silence, and judgment. And when we numb vulnerability, we are also numbing joy, gratitude, happiness, purpose, creativity, a sense of belonging, love, and meaning.” - Brené Brown

if you can find the courage to embrace your vulnerability, to be imperfectly authentic, to talk about what you are scared of, you also open the door to beauty, growth, and healing and that is how you move forward when that little tiny voice in your head tells you, you can’t.

OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES

PSYCHOLOGY TODAY - 5 Ways To Stop Self Sabotaging Yourself

ENTREPRENEUR.COM - 8 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success

TALK SPACE - 4 Signs You’re Self-Sabotaging (+ How to Stop)

All right, so there you have it. Everything I know to help you better understand shame and why you may be self-sabotaging as well as why it’s important to embrace vulnerability and share what your feeling with others. If you have any comments about this episode please feel free to leave them in the comment section below and I hope everyone has a great week embracing vulnerability and I’ll see you again next Monday! CIAO!

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EPISODE 8: HACKING YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS

EPISODE 8: HACKING YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast

Today on the podcast I wanted to talk to you about happiness chemicals.

The human body is really an amazing evolution. Life is designed to be a blissful experience and our biology ensures that everything we need for our survival will make us feel good, that is why we seek pleasure and avoid pain. Naturally, our bodies have the ability to produce happiness chemicals and today I thought I’d share some vital information about how they work and a few hacks you can do to boost them.

Did you know that the warmth you feel from a long hug is caused by an entirely different chemical sensation than the high you feel after a long run or bike ride?

So to start, there are four major chemicals in the brain that influence our happiness. These happiness chemicals are fundamentally responsible for creating the sensations and emotions we’ve come to associate with happiness and they go by the acronym DOSE.

Dopamine
Oxytocin
Serotonin
Endorphins

Dopamine aka the “feel-good” hormone and neurotransmitter, plays an important part in your brain’s reward system. Dopamine is associated with pleasurable sensations, along with learning, memory, and motor system function for example. It is the source of that little happy feeling when someone fills in a checkbox or complete a small task. It is responsible for reward-driven behavior and pleasure-seeking as it is meant to motivate your body toward a distant goal, one step at a time.

Did you know that you can get a natural dose of Dopamine when you perform acts of kindness toward others? Volunteering has been shown to increase dopamine as well as have other long-term health benefits. Some research has even found that just thinking about love and kindness can actually bring on the dopamine high as well.

Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” is essential for childbirth, breastfeeding, and strong parent-child bonding. This hormone can also help promote trust, empathy, and bonding in relationships and oxytocin levels generally increase with physical affection like kissing, cuddling, and sex. I’ve also heard it affectionately referred to as the “hugging drug” because it is released by the brain during physical contact with others. It’s also the feeling behind love, friendship, or deep trust.

What’s especially great about oxytocin is that it often works two ways. So those long hugs give both you and the hug-receiver a dose of oxytocin .

Studies have shown that oxytocin seems to affect males and females differently though, especially in social contexts. It is theorized that because the hormone acts differently in the male and female amygdala - the portion of your brain responsible for emotion, motivation, and reward - causing males and females to be affected differently. One study even suggested that Oxytocin hormones could influence males to stay faithful to their partner. In theory, the more time you spend with your partner, the more oxytocin you and your partner produces. The more oxytocin you produce with your partner, the more you desire your partner, and the more attracted to them you become versus other unfamiliar females. This in turn makes them more prone to being faithful and creating a behavior loop so to speak.

Did you know that Oxytocin also boosts our immune systems, makes us better problem solvers, and more resistant to the addictive qualities of dopamine. Unlike dopamine, which is largely responsible for instant gratification, oxytocin gives us lasting feelings of calm and safety.

Serotonin, also known as ‘The Confidence Molecule” is also a hormone and neurotransmitter like Dopamine except that Serotonin helps regulate your mood as well as your sleep, appetite, digestion, ability to learn, and even memory.

If someone is experiencing low serotonin levels, they might:

  • feel anxious, low, or depressed

  • feel irritable or aggressive

  • have sleep issues or feel fatigued

  • feel impulsive

  • have a decreased appetite

  • experience nausea and digestive issues

  • crave sweets and carbohydrate-rich foods

Like oxytocin, Serotonin is also considered a social chemical because of how it plays a role in the dynamics of pride, loyalty, and status. When we feel a sense of accomplishment or recognition from others, we are experiencing the effects of serotonin. This for example could be as a result of receiving your diploma, crossing the finish line in a race, or being appreciated for hard work in the office.

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

Did you know Serotonin also plays a role in many crucial systems in our body beyond just our well-being and happiness. It’s believed to affect digestion, bone growth, and even organ development. Interestingly enough, an estimated 80 percent of serotonin exists in the gut, and is governed by your state of hunger! This is why you get haangry!

Last but not least, the E in DOSE is for Endorphins - our body’s natural pain reliever. Endorphins are responsible for masking pain or discomfort and the name Endorphin translates into “self-produced morphine." That is why when it comes to happiness, endorphins are what help you “power through” stress or discomfort and give you a boost in your overall mood when you engage in reward-producing activities, such as eating, working out, or having sex. It is also why many describe getting a ‘runners high’ after exerting themselves for a long period of time. Once you remove the pain part of the equation, endorphins actually feel like a “high” or even just a nice relaxing feeling. For example, have you ever been to a thermal spa where they have cold and hot tubs. When you move from a hot to a cold tub or jump into a freezing cold shower you are giving yourself a huge boost of endorphins which can feel quite rewarding if you can stand a minute or two of physical discomfort.

Did you know that If you were to examine the chemical structure and effects of endorphins they look a lot like opiates.

Like endorphins though, Adrenaline also helps the body deal with distress and fearful situation. Known as “The Energy Molecule”, adrenaline plays a large role in the fight-or-flight mechanism. A release of adrenaline is often described as exhilarating and creates a surge in energy that both increases your heart rate and blood pressure. An "adrenaline rush" can be triggered on demand by doing things that terrify you like sky diving or being put into a situation that feels dangerous and jolts of adrenaline are said to be healthy in small doses, especially when you need a pick me up. 

Together though, these 5 happiness chemicals create desirable mood states in the brain and by focusing on lifestyle choices that secrete each of these neurochemicals, you will increase your odds of happiness across the board. So the question then becomes, how do I boost them. Well, there are a variety of ways!

WAYS TO BOOST YOUR HAPPINESS CHEMICALS

Go outside. Simply spending time outdoors, in sunlight, is a great way to do this. Start with at least 10 to 15 minutes outside each day. Try exploring a new neighborhoods or park.

Regular physical activity can also increase your dopamine and serotonin levels. Just like the “runner’s high” I talked about before, your body can naturally give you an endorphin releases with some exercise.

Laugh. Laughter can help relieve feelings of anxiety or stress, as well as improve a low mood by boosting dopamine and endorphin levels.

Plan meals around food items known to boost your happy hormones like:

  • spicy foods, which may trigger endorphin release

  • yogurt, beans, eggs, meats with low-fat content, and almonds, are just a few foods linked to dopamine release

  • probiotic-rich foods, such as fermented foods like kimchi or sauerkraut which actually help boost dopamine production

  • foods high in tryptophan, like turkey and salmon which have been linked to increased serotonin levels

Research suggests that eating 25 to 30 grams of carbs along with foods high in tryptophan may help more tryptophan make it into your brain.


Curcumin the active ingredient in turmeric has also been shown to increase dopamine levels in mice and may have antidepressant effects.

Green tea is another item shown to contains the amino acid which has been known to increase dopamine levels as well.

Listening to instrumental music, especially music that gives you chills, can increase dopamine production in your brain.

Meditation - If you’re familiar with meditation, you might already know of its many wellness benefits — from improving sleep to reducing stress. Studies show the link between many of meditation’s benefits to increased dopamine production during the practice while other research shows it can spur an endorphin release.

Plan a romantic evening. Simply being attracted to someone can lead to the production of oxytocin along with physical affection like kissing, cuddling, or having sex which actually releases both endorphins and dopamine. Further, sharing a glass of wine with your partner or dancing can add an endorphin boost.

Pet your dog! They don’t call them ‘man’s best friend’ for nothing. Giving your dog some affection is a great way to boost oxytocin levels for both you and your dog. According to research, dog owners and their dogs see an increase in oxytocin when they cuddle so if you don’t have another human being to offer you affection to your favorite pet can also do the trick.

Getting a good night’s sleep can also help boost your happiness hormones. Sleep effects your happiness chemicals more than you think and not getting enough quality sleep can affect your health in multiple ways. For one, it can contribute to an imbalance of hormones, particularly dopamine, in your body. This can have a negative impact on your mood as well as your physical health. Setting aside 7 to 9 hours each night for sleep can help restore the balance of hormones in your body, which will likely help you feel better.

Managing your stress. It’s normal to experience some stress from time to time. But living with regular stress or dealing with highly stressful life events can cause drops in dopamine and serotonin production. This can negatively affect your health and mood, making it harder to deal with the cycle of stress.

Get a massage. Believe it or not, massages can boost up to 4 of your happy hormones. According to research, both serotonin and dopamine levels increased after massages and one study that looked at 84 pregnant women with depression said that those who received 20 minutes of massage therapy from a partner twice a week felt less anxious and depressed while also showing higher serotonin levels in their body after 16 weeks.

Have a good cry. Holding back tears can build up tension and anxiety whereas if you let it go and have a good cry, it generally provides a physical relief from tension in the body, and stimulates Endorphin releases.

Keep yourself motivated by planning baby steps towards a goal. The idea of breaking down a tough task you have to get done makes it feel more do-able while also allowing your brain to reward you with dopamine each time you complete a small step.

Supplements are also said to be a great way to boost your serotonin and dopamine production however some supplements can also interact with certain medications, so make sure talk to your healthcare provider before you try them.

All right, so there you have it. Everything you need to know about the bodies natural abilities to produce happiness chemicals and how you can boost them. If you have any comments about this episode please feel free to leave them in the comment section of my show notes! Alright! I hope everyone has a great week boosting those happiness chemicals and I’ll see you again next Monday! CIAO!

Sources
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4449495/
https://www.healthline.com/health/happy-hormone#pets
https://technologyadvice.com/blog/information-technology/activate-chemicals-gamify-happiness-nicole-lazzaro/
https://www.happyfeed.co/research/4-brain-chemicals-make-you-happy
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-athletes-way/201211/the-neurochemicals-happiness
https://medium.com/thrive-global/the-brain-chemicals-that-make-you-happy-and-how-to-trigger-them-caa5268eb2c
https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/how-to-boost-your-natural-feelgood-chemicals.html
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-increase-serotonin#takeaway
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/dopamine-supplements#section14
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-to-increase-dopamine#section11
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-hormone#negative-effects

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EPISODE 7: WELLNESS EXPERT LAURA DE SANCTIS DISCUSSES THE LINK BETWEEN DEPRESSION AND YOUR GUT HEALTH

EPISODE 7: WELLNESS EXPERT LAURA DE SANCTIS DISCUSSES THE LINK BETWEEN DEPRESSION AND YOUR GUT HEALTH

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

In today’s episode, we are talking about how depression has been found to be linked to your gut, and to help discuss this topic I have invited a very special guest on, nutritionist Laura De Sanctis to fill us in on all the latest research and findings.

For those who don’t know Laura, she is the Wellness Expert at Global News and AM640 as well as an official Bodyrocks nutritionist and the founder of ‘Go With Your Gut’ Tea!

CHECK OUT THESE OTHER EPISODES FROM THE PODCAST!

LAURA’S OFFICIAL CREDENTIALS

Reiki Level 1, Toronto (2019)

Energy Medicine Practitioner  – Institute of Holistic Nutrition, Toronto (2016)

Holistic Nutritionist – Institute of Holistic Nutrition, Toronto (2016)

For those who need a quick biology refresher, the Gut not only aids digestion but it also,
+ can boost immune system defense
+ breaks down food so we can absorb vitamins
+ injects the body with anti-inflammatory compounds
+ and now also apparently produces chemicals that influence the brain!

Main problems or symptoms that you may experience that would tell you if you may be having issues with your gut:

  • Irritable bowel syndrome

  • bloating

  • inflammation

  • fatigue

  • joint pain

  • excessive gas

  • mood swings

  • cramps

  • anxiety

  • stress

  • brain fog

Fun Fact! You have 1 kg of bacteria in your gut. That is equivalent to the weight of the human brain.

Study At Belgium Luven Centre of Microbiology the links Depression To Gut Health

They found that certain bacterias found in the gut produce substances that interact and therefore could affect the nervous system.

  • Missing Bacteria:

    • Coprococcus
      - Produces DOPAL - which is a dopamine metabolite
      - Produced Butyrate - which is an anti-inflammatory dietary fiber found in plants

    • Dialister

      - Produced Butyrate - which is an anti-inflammatory dietary fiber found in plants

“We found that the ability of microorganism’s to produce DOPAL, a metabolite of the human neurotransmitter dopamine, was associated with a better quality of life.” - study co-author Mireia Valles-Colomer

American Gut Project 2012

People with depression have similar gut bacteria breakdowns.

Those with better well being had a high concentration of Coprococccus and Faecal bacteria.

Those who are more active and a good diet were happier.

Recommends diets with low processed food, more veggies, fruits, legumes, nuts and grains.

Plant-based diet - a diet consisting entirely of foods derived from plants, including vegetables, grains, nuts, seeds, legumes, and fruits.

Mediterranean diet - all the rage in the 60s, started in Italy and Greece
High amounts of olive oil, legumes, fruits, veggies
Moderate to high amounts of fish
Moderate amounts of wine and dairy
Low amounts of meat

- The Chicken and the Egg -

- People with depression have different habits, lifestyles, diets than those people without depression and so that could affect gut microbes which in-turn reinforcing the depression symptoms.

Laura has also created two teas, a digestive cleansing tea and a prebiotic honey elixir that support better gut health. You can find out more about both products through her website linked below.

WHERE TO FIND LAURA DE SANCTIS

WEBSITE ▶ http://www.gowithyourgut.org/
INSTAGRAM ▶ https://www.instagram.com/gowithyourgut/
FACEBOOK ▶ https://www.facebook.com/Go-With-Your-Gut-287384384940789/

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @ISTHATSOHPODCAST

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If you have any comments or questions about this episode on the brain gut connection, feel free to leave them below

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EPISODE 6: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL ILLNESS - A MENTAL HEALTH 101

EPISODE 6: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL ILLNESS

- A MENTAL HEALTH 101 -

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

So today on the podcast I wanted to talk about the difference between mental health and mental illness as well as do a little mental health 101 download.

I think most of you will agree with me when I say that in recent years, mental health has become less of a taboo topic of conversation and although I am personally extremely happy about this, there is still so much information that needs to be discussed to fully understand this topic. Most people have a general understanding of what mental health but a lot of the time they are also unclear of what is fact versus fiction

I for one am constantly trying to learn more about mental health so that I can be a better advocate and educator on the topic, and one of the ways that I think we can all start to better understand it is to breakdown the differences between mental health and mental illness. Okay?!

Let’s get started!

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL HEALTH AND MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health is the health of your mind. Everyone has to look after their mental health just as they do their physical health.

“There is no health without mental health.” - World Health Organization


So, what does this mean? Well, it means that during the course of everyone’s lifetime, everybody will struggle or face challenges pertaining to their mental well-being but not everyone will experience a mental illness.

When we talk about mental health we are talking about emotions, one’s ability to problem-solve, to cultivate social connections, and to understanding life and the world around them. Just like our physical well being, our mental well being will be impacted in various degrees if we do not take care of ourselves by getting proper sleep, eating a balanced diet, or dealing with stress properly for example.

The length of time associated with poor mental health also varies. It can last for a short time or a long time depending on how quickly one can address, fix, or find ways to cope with the problem at hand.

Some people with mental health issues find that their experiences actually help them to become more compassionate and empathetic towards others while also make them more artistically inclined, grateful for what they have, and better able to understand and help others around them.

Mental illness, on the other hand, is exactly that, an illness. Although generally, the term is used to describe a variety of experiences that affect the way people think, feel, behave, interact with others, and their ability to live their life. The varieties of mental illness and the degrees to which people are affected by them are also quite broad.

TYPES OF MENTAL ILLNESS

  • Mood disorders like depression which affects the way you feel about yourself, others, and the world around you, and bipolar disorder which affect your mood and the way you process emotions.

  • Anxiety disorders which cause you to experience unexpected anxiety or to become fearful of situations or events that most people consider normal. Anxiety disorders are actually the most common type of mental illness and include panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorders.

  • Psychotic disorders like Schizophrenia affect your ability to sense what’s real and what isn’t and thus make it difficult for those suffering from this type of mental illness to think, speak and interact in an organized way.

  • Eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating all involve a distorted body image which has an adverse effect on how you manage food and weight. These disorders are much more than about food though, they also have a lot to do with how one feels about themselves and how they are able to cope with their feelings. In Canada, about 90% of people diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia are women however stats around binge-eating disorder affects men and women more equally.

  • Personality disorders like a borderline personality disorder, OCD, or OCPD - affect the way you feel, act, and form relationships with others. They can also cause people to be more impulsive, inflexible come off as brash, or even pushy.

    • People who experience hoarding and the inability to throw away items from their homes are often categorized as having a personality disorder.

    • People living with BPD feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with them—and often experience extreme changes in their moods, have a hard time controlling impulses, and experience extreme peaks and valleys of both highs and lows. They also may have a hard time trusting others and yet may also become very scared of being abandoned or alone. Further, symptoms of BPD often fall into 5 groups - unstable behavior, unstable emotions, unstable relationships, unstable sense of identity, and awareness problems. According to American Psychiatric Association about 1% to 2% of the general population has BPD but according to the American Psychiatric Association statistics - most people with BPD actually find that their symptoms become more manageable as they get older, and some according to the Canadian Medical Association Journal, can even recover.

  • Substance abuse disorders or more commonly know as addiction start to form when someone becomes dependent on a substance such as alcohol, tobacco, or hard drugs.

  • Dementia - the loss of memory, judgment, and reasoning, along with changes in mood, behavior, and one’s ability to communicate is also considered a mental illness. Dementia happens when someone experiences a severe loss or deterioration of brain cells and other illnesses like Alzheimer’s disease also fall into this category.

  • Learning disabilities like Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can also be considered a mental illness as it affects your ability to focus your attention due to hyperactivity, which is when you become easily over-excited.


1 in 5 people currently suffer from a mental illness

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

COMMONLY IMPACTED GROUPS

Youths - During a time in their life where they are experiencing a lot of changes both physically and socially, many youths go undiagnosed because their parents, teachers, guidance councilors or whoever, categorize their behavior as ‘just a phase’ instead of recognizing that there could be a real serious problem at hand. Because of this, a lot of them do not get the help or treatment they need to properly deal with their illness.

Refugees - mostly as a result of the stressful events that forced them to flee their homeland and the difficulties involved in moving to a new country. Many refugees experience higher rates of mental illness such as depression and PTSD

People with disabilities or chronic illnesses are also at a higher risk of experiences anxiety and depression because of the chronic pain, and stress that comes with challenges they face on a daily basis living with a chronic. 1/3 people with chronic illnesses tend to also experience depression.

People of Aboriginal descent - Reasons for this trend are believe to be complex and connected partially to their history and environment. May aboriginal people experience higher rates of depression, suicide, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance use problems.

Women are more likely than men to experience a mental illness however this can be due to the fact that women are often more likely to seek help. Men, on the other hand, more commonly experience problems with substance use.

The Elderly are also at an increased risk of mental illnesses like depression and anxiety disorders because they tend to face serious health problems and are at a point in their lives where they are loosing loved on. Further, your chances of developing an illness like Alzheimer’s or dementia increases as you age.


“In 2009, about 3% of Canadians aged 12-19 said they experience a mood disorder and about 4% said that they experience an anxiety disorder.” - Here To Help

DIFFERENT TYPES OF TREATMENT

Most people use a combination of treatments to help them deal with a mental illness like:

  • medication

  • counseling

  • support groupS

  • light therapy

  • regular exercise

  • self-help practices.

Recently I also learned while listens to an episode of Goop’s podcast that Ketamine is also being used now to treat depression which was very interesting.

CLICK TO LISTEN TO GOOP’s PODCAST ON THE USE OF KETAMINE ASSISTED PSYCHOTHERAPY TO TREAT DEPRESSION

CLICK TO LISTEN TO GOOP’s PODCAST ON THE USE OF KETAMINE ASSISTED PSYCHOTHERAPY TO TREAT DEPRESSION

SIGNS OF A MENTAL ILLNESS

Identifying whether you or someone you know is suffering from a mental illness can be tricky because symptoms can look different from person to person and range in severity. Your best bet in identifying whether you or someone you know has a mental illness is by paying attention to a change in the way you or they think, act, and feel .

For example, if you:

  • no longer find interest in activities you once enjoyed

  • inability to complete daily tasks

  • find yourself getting angry or sad for little or no reason

  • experience mood swings

  • feel numb like nothing matters

  • have strange thoughts or voices that you can’t seem to get rid of

  • feel sick constantly or have little to no energy

  • have feelings of helplessness and despair

  • experience changes in eating and sleeping habits

  • start to form explainable fears about things in your life that are otherwise easy for others to cope with

  • decrease attendance at work or school

  • substance abuse

  • start self isolating

  • start to have suicidal thoughts

  • lash out at friends and family members

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

All in all, people who live with mental illnesses are not bad people. A lot of people with mental illnesses feel like they have to constantly apologize or hide their existence but feeling shame for having a mental illness helps no one.

Before you go I also just wanted to reiterate that people living with mental illnesses can and do go on to live full lives often accomplishing great things. There are so many celebrities who have opened up about their mental illnesses include Kendall Jenner, Adele, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Lena Dunham, Dakota Johnson, Demi Lavoto, Emma Stone, Ellen DeGenerous, Dwayne Johnson, Lili Reinhart, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, JK Rowling and Kristen Bell, just to name a few. Those who seek treatment for a mental illness by talking to a therapist, I believe, actually become better communicators and are able to recognize and describe what emotion or feeling they are battling with. This, I believe, leads them to become great song writers, artist, authors, and even athlete. Living with a mental illness is not the end of the world even though it may seem like it. With the right help and treatment, many of us living with mental illness can live a productive and happy life.

All right, well I hope you walked away from today with some fresh insights and I just wanted to let you know that you can still sign up for my mental health challenge if you haven’t already!

If you have any comments about this episode please feel free to leave them in the comment section here!

Alright! I wish everyone a great week and I’ll see you again next Monday!

CIAO!

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EPISODE 5: HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PARTNER

EPISODE 5: HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT PARTNER

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today I am coming to you from the comforts of my at-home walk-in closet which I have now dubbed COVID studios. LOL

In today’s episode, I wanted to talk to you about relationships and how to attract the right partner.

Obviously, relationships can play a huge role in a person’s mental health and so I think today’s topic is one that many of us can relate to.

Even if you are in a relationship, there will probably be some solid insights and good reminders in this episode to help you approach your current relationship in a healthier way, so please be open-minded.

All right?! Beautiful! Let’s get started!

“I feel like everyone is trying to find or attract their twin flame without realizing that you have to make sure you are burning first, that you are a flame, that you’re own self worth and self-value are high, that you love yourself first. Then THEY will find YOU. Find yourself first. No one is attracted to ashes.”
— Jordan Flesher

Obviously you want a partner that brings out the best in you but attracting the right partner actually has more to do with how you treat and honor yourself than it does with finding that perfect person that clicks with you. First, you need to work on yourself and make your flame bright before you can attract a partner. How do you do this? Well, the key to attacking the right partner is to first establish your own self worth and confidence.

Self Worth and Confidence:

  • Be good at something - people are naturally attracted to people who are successful and motivated. If you have something going for you that you are really good at, people will admire the dedication and skills you have. Having something that means something to you, that you pursue seriously and do really well at, is going to give you confidence and be a source of self-worth.

  • Laugh at yourself - being confident and having self-worth also means you can acknowledge your own quirks and laugh at them. Being able to laugh and not take yourself so seriously makes you fun to be around and will make everyone enjoy your company even more!

  • Respect yourself, take care of your health, put yourself together, be productive - practicing self-love is not only good for your mental health but it will help you build up your self-worth. Taking the time to put yourself together and implement healthy practices like working out, setting boundaries and being productive will help you build up both self-worth and confidence.

  • Have your own life and don’t make yourself always available - this is a big one because when we are excited about something, we tend to want to jump headfirst into it but in order to maintain the self-worth and confidence that you have worked so hard on building up, you also have to learn to set boundaries.

A couple years ago, I wrote an article for Valentine's Day for one of the online publications I write for, and the whole article was based on rules of dating I learned from a book that I read by Sherry Argov called ‘Why Men Love Bitches” (click here to read the full article). The whole book is about establishing boundaries when dating as a way to maintain your own self worth and confidence. It’s actually a great book that I highly recommend everyone read, boy or girl, especially if you are not good at dating or even just want a refresher.

By Sherry Argov

Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself.

Two simple concept that I learned from this book that can help you along with setting boundaries are:

  • If you act like you’re capable of doing everything, you get stuck doing everything. The key lesson here being if you start to feel like you are giving more than you are receive, the power dynamic has changed and not in your favour… instead, do less. Don’t act upset just don’t give in to any more of their request and don’t go out of your way to help them anymore. If you want to be treated as an equal you must set that boundary and enforce them.

  • Actions speak louder than words - an expression that has literally stood the test of time. Why? Simply, because of how much truth can be found in it. A wolf in sheep’s clothing always makes themselves known quickly through their actions. Ignoring these red flags are dangerous! That is why it is important to paying attention to a person’s actions more than their words and set boundaries as to what you will accept.

I know getting to the point where you are brimming with self-worth and confidence isn’t going to be easy but nothing worth having is. By concentrating on yourself and building yourself up, you are investing in your own value and will intern stop allowing people unworthy of your time to distract you from this effort. You will also not allow people who want to take advantage of what you have going on or that don’t take your time seriously, from disrespecting you. If you are capable of accomplishing this you should have no problem attracting the right kind of partner and building a relationship with them on a solid foundation of mutual respect. There really is no secret to dating, it all starts with you and how you show up and honor yourself.

All right, well I hope you walked away from today with some fresh insights and I just wanted to let you know that you can still sign up for my mental health challenge if you haven’t already!

If you have any questions about today’s episode feel free to leave a comment below or slide them into my DM. I wish you all a pleasant week and I look forward to catching up again next week!

Bye!

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EPISODE 4: BUILDING A MENTAL HEALTH TOOLBOX

EPISODE 4: BUILDING A MENTAL HEALTH TOOLBOX

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Now recording live from my at home studio space AKA my closet! That’s right, we are all set up and ready to rock and roll with these episodes now!

In today’s episode, I am taking it back to the basics for a little solo session where I share some tools or ‘practices’ that I like to use to help with my mental health. I know this COVID lockdown has been difficult for many peoples mental health so I thought Id share some techniques that I have found to work wonders for me in the past so that you can benefit from them also.

All right, are you ready?

So as explained in the episode, I am going to break my toolbox down into two sections, things you have to STOP doing for your head, your body and your heart, and things you have to START doing for your head, your body, and your heart.

STOP

  • STOP beating yourself
    If you are dwelling on things you didn’t do right in the past or are blaming yourself for things that have gone wrong, you need to stop. It is time to forgive yourself and move on to be that better version of yourself.

  • STOP playing the comparison game

    When you do this you dishonor your own journey

  • STOP isolating yourself and insisting that you can fix things or recover on your own
    Although I do commend doing independent work, it cannot replace the professional guidance of a therapist, dietitian, or physician that have years of experience and training.

  • STOP holding on to toxic relationships including one with yourself
    Stop putting the needs of others above yourself. Learn to say no. If you feel like you are always giving, rescuing, or sympathizing with someone else, you may also be enabling, so take stock of whether the relationship is a healthy one worth keeping or if you need to let go.

    • In order to do this you will need to set boundaries and stick to them - every time you say you are going to do something and you don’t, you are dishonoring yourself.

    • make your own mental health a priority before helping others.

      So those are all the things I want you to stop doing! Now the first thing I want you to START doing is …..

START


  • START being kind to yourself PERIOD. You need to be more gentle with yourself and use kind words when talking to yourself. Changing your inner dialogue takes time and its a skill you need to develop but it makes the world of difference once you do

  • START practicing gratitude and affirmation techniques. I know they sound really hokey but they truly do help you shift my mindset. Essentially when you put out positivity into the world, you become open to receiving positivity and it helps shift your energy from negative to positive.

    • Further practice affirmation helps to change your inner dialogue so that you can believe in your strength and capabilities again. Simply write them on a sticky note and stick them to your bathroom mirror so that every time you are in the bathroom you are reminded to practice having more positive thoughts.

      • A Few of my Fabourites:

        • I am resilient and strong.

        • I am at peace with my path.

        • Start and end each day with love.

        • I have the ability to change and control my thoughts.

        • you didn’t come this far only to come this far, I can and will keep going.

        • I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind. The fears and shame of yesterday has melted away.


  • START interact with people or close family that don’t trigger you and be a good friend to them. much like Karma, in order to bring positivity into your life, you have to put out positivity.

  • START asking for help from professionals - Call a helpline or find a therapist. Keeping your feelings or illness a secret doesn’t help anyone and only perpetuates the destructive cycle you are in.

    • Talkspace is an IG account that offers free therapy for anyone looking for someone to talk to during COVID lockdown.

    • Check Point Org is a site that lists all the helplines available globally so you can easily search for the number to your local helpline.

  • START using grounding techniques to focus on the present and calm any anxiety you are feeling.

    • Essentially you start with listing:

      5 Things you see,
      4 Things you hear,
      3 Things you feel,
      2 Things you smell,
      1 Thing you can taste

  • START practice acts of self-love - Listen to your body, how does it feel? Have you been treating it nicely? Did you move it today? Did you feed it nutritional things that it needs and can process?

    • Hydrating more, get outside for some vitamin D, find some healthy recipes to try, or randomly doing easy exercises like jumping jacks or go for a walk .

    • Get some rest if your body is asking you to take it easy.

    • If you have a hard time falling asleep I recommend relaxing music, or listening (Audible)/reading a book.

    • Establish a morning routine - get up, shower, get dressed, and put yourself together. Its a wonderful way to feel ready for the day and prepared for whatever it may throw at you.

  • START Dance Therapy! Dance like nobody is watching! Also stretching the body is great to help with any tension you are felling or discomfort.

  • START pampering yourself a little more and do something nice for yourself

    • Light a candle and using it to ignite your olfactory senses.

    • Get yourself a hair cut or take a nice long bath, whatever you need.

PAMPER YOURSELF AT HOME WITH THESE DIY POSTS

Featured
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DIY NATURAL HAIR MASK TREATMENT
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BRIGHTENING TURMERIC FACE MASK - BENEFITS OF TURMERIC FOR SKIN
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DIY MILK BATH
BROWN SUGAR BODY SCRUB

BE PRODUCTIVE IF YOU CAN

I know getting motivated to be productive can be hard for some people during this time but for me I find that it really helps with my mental health - Things I like to do for my head, my body and my heart are:

  • Organize my mind and life - I don’t journal but I do make a tone of lists, wish lists, to-do lists, etc, which help organizes my thoughts so I can prioritize what I need to do now and feel less anxious about tackling it.

  • Organize your house and go on a cleaning binge

  • Organize your finances and make a budget

  • Create a positive workspace that enables me to concentrate better

  • Use a calendar app or agenda to plan out your day, ALL of your day.

  • Keep a routine - get up, shower, get dressed, and go.

  • Find ways to receive lots of small wins - do some puzzling, solve a problem, do sudoku or word cross anything to give you some positive reinforcement, and get your brain firing.

  • Get crafty or learn a new skill - maybe you have been wanting to try gardening, painting, drawing, or even just doodling… Anything tactile really…. Knitting! I recently learned how to press flowers and made a card for my mom for Mother Day, and it was such fun.

  • Get outside and go for a hike/bike ride, or a run. I’ve always been a big believer in the power of exercise and especially when it comes to work, I often find moments of clarity when I am exerting myself


Lastly, before I go, I also just want to reiterate to you to practice patience with yourself. You will continue to face challenges but each time you face a challenge you will grow a little. Even tiny steps forward are a step forward. You may even slip or relapse in some way because you found a trigger you previously weren’t aware of but it will also lead you on to a path of finding the root of the problem and do the healing necessary so next time its not as effective of a trigger.

Eventually you will know yourself better, and actually start to challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone so that you can become stronger.

Alright, well I hope you walked away from today with some new tools and if you have any questions feel free to slide them into my DM. I wish you all a pleasant week and I look forward to catching up again next week! Bye!

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EPISODE 3 : HOW BEING THROWN IN THE DEEP END LED 'HEY NADINE' ON THE BEST SOLO ADVENTURE OF HER LIFE AND HOW SHE EMPOWERS OTHERS TO DO IT TOO!

EPISODE 3 : HOW BEING THROWN IN THE DEEP END LED HEY NADINE ON THE BEST SOLO ADVENTURE OF HER LIFE AND HOW SHE EMPOWERS OTHERS TO DO IT TOO!

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

In today’s episode we are talking all about finding empowerment in solo travel and to help discuss this topic I have invited a very special guest on - Nadine Sykora - or HEY Nadine as she is more popularly known as, to come and talk about her solo travelings experiences and how being thrown in the deep end led her to the most transformative solo adventure of her life.

Nadine, if you are not familiar with her is one of the top female travel vloggers on Youtube, she has traveled to over 51 counties, is a brand ambassador for Contiki, has presented & spoken on expert panels at Google, VidCon and the Canadian Media PRODUCERS Association - AND She was also a keynote speaker at the 2016 ‘Women in Travel Summit’.

Nadine not only has an immense passion for travel but her videos are full of wit and sarcasm making them both funny and entertaining while being informative and inspirational!

WHERE TO FIND NADINE

If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below

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EPISODE 2: HOW AMI VITALE TURNED HER WEAKNESS INTO A SUPERPOWER, FOUND BEAUTY IN DARKNESS, AND INSPIRES OTHER TO TRAVELS WITH PURPOSE

EPISODE 2: HOW AMI VITALE TURNED HER WEAKNESS INTO A SUPER POWER, FOUND BEAUTY IN DARKNESS, AND INSPIRES OTHERS TO TRAVEL WITH PURPOSE

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

On today’s episode we are getting inspired to travel again, but this time around with purpose! And to help discuss this topic I have invited a very special guest on - Ami Vitale!

Ami is a national geographic photographer, filmmaker, speaker, and explorer with numerous achievements including being named ‘Magazine Photographer Of The Year’ by the National Press Photographer’s Association; a best selling author for her book Panda Love; the recipient of a Daniel Pearl Award for Outstanding Reporting; being listed on InStyle Magazine’s ‘The Badass Fifty’ which highlight women who show up, speak up and get things done; and is a founding member of Ripple Effect Images, an organization of renowned female scientists, writers, photographers and filmmakers working together to create powerful and persuasive stories that shed light on the hardships women in developing countries face and the programs that can help them.

Follow Ami @AmiVitale on Instagram

SANCTUARIES AMI SUPPORTS:

Reteti Elephant Sanctuary - located on the Namunyak Wildlife Conservancy in northern Kenya, an eight-hour drive from Nairobi, Reteti Elephant Sanctuary was designed to rescue and release orphaned and abandoned elephant calves, while creating much-needed benefits for the local people that live alongside them.

Are you interested in learning more about Ami Vitale’s Photography Workshops? Click HERE.

Do you want to enter her new campaign ‘Win a Trip to Ol Pejeta Sanctuary with Ami Vitale’ too? Click HERE.

Also don’t forget to follow her on Instagram and check out her photography class ‘Documentary Photography: Capturing Places and People’ available on SkillShare HERE. ITS FANTASTIC, especially the ‘perspectives’ lesson.

If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below!

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EPISODE 1: WE HAVE LIFT OFF!

KINDLY NOTE: In Episode 1, I am taking over 30 years of my life and squeezing it into 30 minutes. Some of the themes I talk about in this podcast may be triggering to some and I just want to be clear that I am not trying to skip over, play down or shy away from talking about them or how they impacted me. It was just impossible to do in 30 Minutes. With that being said, as the podcast progresses I will be sharing more on each topic and am planning to bring on experts who can provide sound advice on these subjects. If you are triggerd and need to talk to someone immediately following this episode please visit Check Point Org to find a helpline in your country.

Further, I am also planning to give my listeners an opportunity to propose questions that they would like me to ask during my interviews as a way to guarantee that you will become part of the conversation and receive the advice/guidance you desire.

EPISODE 1: WE’VE GOT LIFT OFF!

Hello and welcome to the Is That Soh Podcast! I still can’t believe this is happening!



This podcast has been a long time coming and I am so excited to finally be launching it today.

Before I jump into sharing my intentions and motivations for this podcast I just wanted to thank a couple of people for their support. My brother in law, Mattias Friberg who composed the music for this podcast and perfected my sound, and my boyfriend Adam for always being my biggest supporter, my go-to sounding board and loving advisor.

The idea of launching this podcast first came to me back in November/December of 2019 and it has taken me 5-6 months to actually get the courage to launch it.

In all honesty, the reason why it took me so long to launch this podcast was because I was scared shitless. This podcast is much more than just a podcast for me, it is an extension of me and my life journey.

I am definitely not perfect! I have a whole lot of feelings, thought and bad habits I’m personally trying to work through but I also know from everyone who comments on my Instagram photos that I am not the only one. I think many of us could benefit from these conversations as much as I do and I hope through listening to this podcast you are able to find a source of enlightenment and healing as well.

In an effort to start off on the right foot, I really wanted to connect with you and share why this podcast is much more than a podcast for me. I knew in order to do that, I had to let you into intimate parts of my life and past which scared the shit out of me. I knew, once I shared those details and put my story out there, there was no going back….. 



Unlike the interview episodes that I have also recorded in preparation for this launch (and will be premiering in the coming weeks) this episode is very personal and made me feel very vulnerable. It took over three weeks for me to write, another two for me to build up the courage to record and another month and a half to get enough guts to sit down and edit it. Each step of the way was harder than the last and as I inched my way to the finish line I battled with so much self-doubt and feelings of vulnerability it was painful.

Once I sat down and edited it though, I knew it was go-time. Not because I felt prepared and it was finally done and ready (I don’t feel prepared and would have preferred to have a lot more recordings in my ‘bank’), but because this global pandemic is and will continue to be really tough on our mental health. When we can’t create normal social connections, at least maybe through this podcast, we can build a connection through honest conversations, storytelling and the worldly wisdom/insights we discover along the way so that we can all feel less isolated and more enlightened.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this episode and if you have any feedback/commentary or episode topic/guest interview suggestions, I would love to hear them! Leave your feedback in the comments below.

Photos From My Life

Me - Age 2

My mom, dad and sister Leila

My dad and Prince Albert of Monaco

Me and my sister Shahla at Edwards Garden

Me, Age 3 on a family vacation

My brother Amir (Age 5) and Me (Age 4) in Montalcino, Italy - the most magical summer of my childhood

Dinner with family and friends on my dad’s dream boat. I’m the little girl making the funny face in the pink.

Me and my brother on a farm in Quebec

My beautiful sister Leila who passed away.

L to R: My sister Shahla holding her daughter Paris standing with my Dad and me as an awkward teenager

My high school graduating class photo - I am first row, all the way on the left

My friend and coworker Amanda and I at a party for Greta Constantine

The atelier I moved into that got robbed

Photoshoot for my first collection

Invitation to my First Collection Pop Up Preview

The changerooms my brother Markus built me for my Pop Up

Adam and I in our 2nd year of dating

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