EPISODE 16: #BLACKLIVESMATTER, WHITE PRIVILEGE AND HOW TO BE A BETTER ALLY WITH SARAFINA ARTHUR WILLIAMS

EPISODE 16: #BLACKLIVESMATTER, WHITE PRIVILEGE AND HOW TO BE A BETTER ALLY WITH SARAFINA ARTHUR WILLIAMS 

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast I have invited wellness psychologist and founder of Intentional Simplicity, Sarafina Arthur Williams to come on and educate us on the state of mental health in the BIPOC community, what white privilege is and how we can use it to help people of colour by being better allies.

The reason why I ask Sarafina to come on the show was because, even prior to the Black Lives Matter Protest this past summer and the death of George Floyd, I had listened to one or two conversations around white privilege and how to have conversations with people in marginalized groups about race, but it wasn’t until I sat back, muted myself and actively started to listen, that I notice how ignorant I was to ‘the black experience’, their history of oppression and injustice, and the place they hold on social media.

As someone who has black friends and even black relatives, I admit I have never tried to have conversations with them around race but this experience made me realize that maybe I should.

Even after examining my own social media feed, which was filled with predominant white faces it also made me ask myself, ‘How I expect to learn more about people in marginalized groups if I don’t show interest in people’s experiences that are different then my own.’

Further, since I have a particular interest in mental health, it worried me how, with all that is going on in the world, the BIPOC community is doing in terms of taking care of their mental health and if they are even able to get the help they need because:
1) you usually have to pay out of pocket for anything mental health related which can be a deterrent or barrier to seeking help and,
2) less than 2 % of mental health care practitioners are Black or African American and how can you expect those who need help to get proper help when those available to give it aren’t culturally competent enough to treat and understand specific issues as they relate to the black experience.

And so that is why I wanted Sarafina to come on and talk with us, because not only has she lived the black experience but she is a masters level psychologist who can relay her first hand insights and experience of growing up in the black community along with knowledge on the state of it’s mental health.

Sarafina Arthur-Williams is the CEO and founder of Intentional Simplicity LLC, a wellness-based mental health private practice. As a wellness psychologist and creative consultant, she educates her clients and mental health practitioners about positive psychology, art therapy, and the value of wellness and mindfulness. She is ranked on Feedspot’s top psychology bloggers of 2020 and features as a guest speaker on a variety of mental health platforms. To encourage sustainability, Sarafina documents how she practices wellness in her daily life through her online presence.

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- BIPOC Mental Health Statistics -

  • Black and African American teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than White teenagers (9.8 percent v. 6.1 percent).

  • 16% (4.8 million) of Black and African American people reported having a mental illness, and 22.4% (1.1 million people) reported a serious mental illness over the past year.

  • Serious mental illness (SMI) rose among all ages of Black and African American people between 2008 and 2018.

  • Binge drinking, smoking (cigarettes and marijuana), illicit drug use and prescription pain reliever misuse are more frequent among Black and African American adults with mental illnesses.

  • Black and African American people are more often diagnosed with schizophrenia and less often diagnosed with mood disorders compared to white people with the same symptoms.
    Additionally, they are offered medication or therapy at the lower rates than the general population.

  • Black and African American people are over-represented in our jails and prisons. Black and
    African American people make up 13 percent of the general U.S. population, but nearly 40 percent of the prison population. In 2016, the imprisonment rate for Black and African American men (2,417 per 100,000 Black male residents) was more than 6 times greater than that for white men (401 per 100,000 white male residents) and the imprisonment rate for Black and African American women (97 per 100,000 Black and African American female residents) was almost double that for white women (49 per 100,000 white female residents). [13] Black and African American people with mental health conditions, specifically those involving psychosis, are more likely to be in jail or prison than people of other races.

  • Because less than 2 percent of American Psychological Association members are Black or African American

  • 11.5 percent of Black and African Americans, versus 7.5 percent of white Americans were still uninsured in 2018.

  • In 2018, 58.2 % of Black and African American young adults 18-25 and 50.1 % of adults 26-49 with serious mental illness did NOT receive treatment

- Stats From Mental Health America - https://www.mhanational.org/issues/black-and-african-american-communities-and-mental-health



- Where To Find Sarafina Online -

WEBSITE Www.LiveIntentionallySimplistic.Com
INSTAGRAM @intentional_simplicity_llc
FACEBOOK
@intentionalsimplicityllc


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EPISODE 15: HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS

EPISODE 15: HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS

* Please Note - Some links in this post may be affiliate links *

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

For today’s episode, I thought I would do a little solo show and talk about one theme that I feel has been brought up time and time again throughout the first half of this season. They are situation that occurs in everyone’s life where tough topics need to be discussed and although we may hate to have discussions about them, they are a necessary part of life. So that is why I thought I’d devote today’s episode to developing a playbook oh how to make having them a little bit easier.

If you hate conflict and avoid it as much as possible, know that you are not alone. According to a Harvard Business Review, 67% of managers are uncomfortable talking to the people they manage - and that’s literally their job. However, it is important to understand that conflict avoidance robs you of your energy, power, and emotional freedom, and does not serve you in any way which is why learning how to get conformable having hard conversations is the only way to find relief from a stressful situation!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- Episode Recap -

  1. Learning to sit with yourself and comb through your thoughts - be honest with yourself and acknowledge the need for the conversations

  2. Prep!

    • define your ideal outcome

    • rehearse with a friend

    • choose your language wisely

    • watch your body language

  3. Set ground rules

    • allow each other time to speak while the other listens - no interrupting!

    • name calling, throwing objects, and swearing are off-limits

    • allow time out or the ability to initiate a pauses

  4. Be okay with possibly being wrong - You may have misinterpreted the situation or have the wrong information and therefore things aren’t as black and white as you may have originally thought, and that’s okay.

  5. Be honest and straightforward - use specific examples making sure to watch your tone and the words you use so you don't come off accusatory.

  6. Acknowledge your responsibilities and avoidance in dealing with the conflict sooner

  7. Be empathetic, listen and validate - this doesn’t mean you have to agree or change the point you are trying to make, it just makes them feel like they are an even playing field and are able to be heard too.

  8. Make sure not to:

    • dominate the conversation

    • jump in to fill silence

    • interrupt when they are talking

  9. If the conversation starts going sideways, reiterate the reason why you are having the conversation - to maintain mutual respect and problem solve so you can improve the relationship and both of your lives.

  10. It’s okay to disappoint people

    • set boundaries if you need to

  11. Stick to your target - as you near the end of the conversation restate your point and offer a possible solution

    • brainstorm steps together on how to achieve the solution

  12. Ask questions to make sure they understood everything discussed



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EPISODE 14: HOW ELLIA MARCUM FOUND HER STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE AMBIGUOUS LOSS OF HER FATHER, AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER, AND WORK THROUGH HER HUSBANDS MARITAL AFFAIR

EPISODE 14: HOW ELLIA MARCUM FOUND HER STRENGTH TO DEAL WITH THE AMBIGUOUS LOSS OF HER FATHER, AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER AND WORK THROUGH HER HUSBANDS MARITAL AFFAIR

Hello Friends and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today, I have invited mother, wife, daughter and certified mental health coach Ellia Marcum, to come on the podcast to tell us her life story of how she overcame extremely difficult circumstances and personal traumas.

I was first introduced to Ellia when she reached out to me to tell me her story of healing and growth after growing up with an alcoholic mother, experiencing the ambiguous loss of her father, and battling through a betrayal trauma after her husband had a marital affair.

I knew as she ended her story and began to tell me about the reasons why she started her company Mood|Well, that she needed to come on the podcast because much like Myles story in Episode 11, hearing someone be so open, honest and self aware gives us all the courage to face our own personal shame and trauma; and I want to continue to empower this community to talk about what they are going through and express themselves so that we can all overcome barriers holding us back from finding our true purpose and source of happiness. So, here we are!

Ellia Marcum is a Certified Professional Life Coach, a support group facilitator through A Door of Hope, and Mental Health First Responder and Coach. She owns and operated her own business, Mood|Well, where she helps women heal and cope from mental illness and life crises through one-on-one sessions and support groups.

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!

I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! Feel free to leave your thought below!



- WHERE TO FIND ELLIA ONLINE -

WEBSITE Www.MoodWellCoaching.Org
INSTAGRAM @Mood.Well_Coaching


If you have any comments or questions about this episode, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 11: 'I'M HIV POSITIVE' - MYLES SEXTON'S JOURNEY BACK TO LOVE & SELF ACCEPTANCE

EPISODE 11: 'I'M HIV POSITIVE' - MYLES SEXTON'S JOURNEY BACK TO LOVE & SELF ACCEPTANCE

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

Today on the podcast, I have invited a very special guest and friend on Myles Sexton.

For those who don’t know Myles, he is a lifestyle blogger originally from Nova Scotia who now resides in Toronto, Canada. His blog, I Walk for Myles in These Shoes covers his love and curiosity for travel, beauty, and fashion. Working as an international model and makeup artist for many years, Myles’s personal style has been featured on the pages of Vogue Italia, Elle, and Fashion Magazine. His celebrity clients have included Grace Jones, Maye Musk, Winnie Harlow, Nelly Furtado, Lights, and Emily Hanes of Metric.


OTHER EPISODES ABOUT HEALING


Myles Sexton, looking stylish as always

Myles Sexton, looking stylish as always

To give everyone a bit of context as to how I personally know Myles, we met a couple of years ago and run in the same social media circles here in Toronto. I first met him at an event and was instantly attracted to him because not only does he have the most welcoming, warm vibe but he is also hands down the most stylish person in the room.

Not too long ago, Myles made a video (below) in which he openly and vulnerably talked about how he was diagnosed with HIV two years previous and how it affected his ability to accept and love himself.

I knew as soon as the video ended that I had to have him come on my podcast because his story and journey were both so powerful it moved me at my core. I knew his story could help so many people even if they couldn’t share his experience because hearing someone be that open, honest, and self-aware gives us all the courage to face our own personal shame or trauma and that alone empower us all!

I hope you enjoy this episode!

Also, special thanks to Mattias Friberg for composing the music for this podcast and perfecting my sound!


- RECOMMENDED BOOKS ABOUT LOVE AND SELF ACCEPTANCE -

  1. The Gift of Imperfections By Brené Brown

  2. Love Warrior By Glennon Doyle

- HIV  RESOURCES -

  1. ⠀For information about HIV (treatment, research, and other resources), visit CATIE

  2. If you are living with HIV or newly diagnosed, live in Toronto and do not have primary care provider, please see the Health Centre at 410

  3. If you are living with HIV and need legal support services, check HALCO

  4. If you are living with HIV and need income support and access to food banks, you can self-refer to PWA

  5. If you need an HIV friendly pharmacy in Toronto, visit https://www.medsexpert.ca/

  6. If you need mental health support, peer support worker, and community support. Look into the different AIDS Service Organizations in Toronto: ACT, ASAAP, ACAS, Black Cap, etc.


Myles climbed Dorian’s Tower in the summer of 2020, 2 years after being diagnosed with HIV. Clearly nothing can stop him from living his life to the fullest.

Myles climbed Dorian’s Tower in the summer of 2020, 2 years after being diagnosed with HIV. Clearly nothing can stop him from living his life to the fullest.


WHERE TO FIND MYLES SEXTON ONLINE

WEBSITE I Walk For Myles In These Shoes
INSTAGRAM@MylesSexton
YOUTUBE
@MylesSexton
FACEBOOK
@MylesSexton
TWITTER
@MylesSexton


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If you have any comments or questions about this episode or for me or Myles Sexton, feel free to leave them below


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EPISODE 3 : HOW BEING THROWN IN THE DEEP END LED 'HEY NADINE' ON THE BEST SOLO ADVENTURE OF HER LIFE AND HOW SHE EMPOWERS OTHERS TO DO IT TOO!

EPISODE 3 : HOW BEING THROWN IN THE DEEP END LED HEY NADINE ON THE BEST SOLO ADVENTURE OF HER LIFE AND HOW SHE EMPOWERS OTHERS TO DO IT TOO!

Hello and welcome back to the Is That Soh Podcast!

In today’s episode we are talking all about finding empowerment in solo travel and to help discuss this topic I have invited a very special guest on - Nadine Sykora - or HEY Nadine as she is more popularly known as, to come and talk about her solo travelings experiences and how being thrown in the deep end led her to the most transformative solo adventure of her life.

Nadine, if you are not familiar with her is one of the top female travel vloggers on Youtube, she has traveled to over 51 counties, is a brand ambassador for Contiki, has presented & spoken on expert panels at Google, VidCon and the Canadian Media PRODUCERS Association - AND She was also a keynote speaker at the 2016 ‘Women in Travel Summit’.

Nadine not only has an immense passion for travel but her videos are full of wit and sarcasm making them both funny and entertaining while being informative and inspirational!

WHERE TO FIND NADINE


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