'WE BOUGHT A HOUSE': TIPS FOR FIRST TIME HOME BUYERS ON HOW TO BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY PREPARED!

If you follow me on Instagram you may have already seen me talking and sharing about Adam and I’s journey with buying a house for the first time. What you may not know is that we finally won a bid! After months of searching and placing numerous bids, we finally came out on top and will be taking possession of our first home on my birthday! The icing on the cake for me though is that we scored a detached Victorian in one of the most coveted downtown neighborhoods in Toronto, Canada! I still can’t believe it!

Although I am thrilled to end this part of our journey victorious, it has not been easy! As a matter of fact, there were plenty of disheartening and heartbreaking moments which at times made me question whether we should throw in the towel. Looking back, there were definitely a few things I wished I had been more mentally prepared for as a first-time home buyer in Canada. For one, I wish someone told me that buying your first home is hard but buying a home in one of the most competitive real estate markets in Canada is even harder!

The Toronto housing market has been hot for a while but this year with the looming effects of COVID, lack of supply, high renovation costs, and low mortgage rates, the 2021 market saw a 21% increase in the average home price, which brought the average Toronto home from $900K to $1.1 million in 1 year. Additionally, I wish someone had warned me about the frustrations of skyrocketing prices thanks to ‘blind bidding’ wars (when a buyer makes an offer on a home without details of other competing offers), which in our experience lead to houses going 500K over asking! Further, because realtors want to capitalize on bidding wars for their clients, they will list a house lower than the house is worth just to create the frenzied environment they want. Had someone taken me by the shoulders and shaken the naivety out of me I probably could have saved myself from numerous sleepless nights, getting too attached, and bouts of elevated anxiety and stress, but alas here we are! That is why I thought I’d share a few ‘tips for first time home buyers’ with you so that you can go into one of the biggest purchases decision of your life a little more mentally prepared and level-headed than I was and avoid feeling hopeless about buying a house.


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- 5 Tips To Mentally Prepare You For Buying Your First Home -

1. Buying a house is kind of like dating


Chances are you won’t end up marrying the first person you date in high school, right! Well, the same thing goes for houses! In total, Adam and I ended up bidding on 11 houses, 10 of which we didn’t even make a shortlist (when the seller’s agent contacts the top bidders to see if they can improve their offers)! The number of houses we bid on would have been higher but Adam talked me out of placing bids on two houses for one reason or another, and although both those houses did end up selling within our price range (imagine my frustration at the time having to watch them pass me by) in hindsight I realized that he was right and that I would have been settling for a house in a neighborhood that left something to be desired instead of holding out for ‘the one’. DID YOU HEAR THAT ADAM?! I SAID YOU WERE RIGHT! LOL.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that buying a house is like dating - expect to match with a bunch of potentials, fall in love a few times, back out once or twice, get your heart broken when you are outbid, only to have to brush yourself off, get back up and continue looking. Seriously though, it’s okay to step back for a few weeks and take a break from house hunting when you start to feel like you are losing hope like Adam and I did once or twice…. there will always be another slew of new houses out there in a few weeks and sometimes it’s better to take a break than give up, or worse, settle!

2. Buckle up!


On that note, buckle up because you’ve got a long journey ahead!

When Adam and I started our house hunting journey, I anticipated figuring out finances, finding the perfect house, and moving in would take 3-4 months tops and boy was I wrong! Adam and I started looking at the beginning of February and only in mid-end June 2021 successfully won a bid. In that time we saw nearly 50 houses, 90% of which fit my desired style (Victorian).

The thing is, even when you win a bid, most sellers want 60-90 days before they hand over possession of the house, so right there you’re adding 2-3 months to your timeline. In fact, it was only in the midst of our journey that I learned it had taken some of my friends close to a year to find their first house let alone move in! The point is, buckle up and prepare yourself for a long ride ahead especially in competitive markets like Toronto where you will have a lot of competition. I remember one house we bid on had 27 offers which apparently is not uncommon these days when there is a limited supply, especially during the winter months.

According to my mom, who is a licensed real estate agent and helped us with our first time home purchase, the housing market gets more competitive during the winter months (Dec-March) when supply is limited and cools in the summer months (June - August) when supply is at its highest. Additionally, spring (April - May) and fall (Sept - Nov) can also be competitive as there is still a transitioning amount of supply (although better than winter months). However, families with children are generally looking to buy in the spring and move during the summer in order to have their kids settled before school starts in September. For this reason, the market gets a bit more competitive in the spring. Regardless, paying attention to the season and the number of new listings could help your chances of being shortlisted when bidding in a competitive market.

A Timeline for Buying A House For The First Time

3. Roll the dice and play the game


As a first time homebuyer trying to buy a house in Toronto - the city I was born and raised in! - one thing this experience taught me was that the housing market in Toronto is F*$ked! There is no way that people my age will be able to purchase a home in the city in the future if prices keep going up the way they have been unless they and their partner/spouse have a combination of two or more of the following: two very strong income streams, are already sitting on a nice nest egg (like I was with my condo), are getting a bit of money from their parents, are willing to lose a large chunk of their paycheck to mortgage payments or are willing to rent out part of the home to subsidize their mortgage payments.

Further, agents have been listing homes below market value across the city in order to entice bidding wars, so it’s not uncommon to see houses listed in your price range (or even for $1 in some cases!) sell way over the listing price. Towards the end of our journey, both Adam and I realized that the listing price means nothing anymore, that’s why you have to think of putting in an offer as playing a game. Instead of looking at the listing and trying to figure out a realistic number to offer that you feel comfortable with, you have to focus more on ‘comparables’ (houses in the same general area that have the same number of bedrooms, bathrooms, and lot size, etc.) to see what a more realistic value for the house is. Obviously, if it doesn’t have parking, a finished basement, a potential rental unit, or the same number of floors, it could decrease the value of the home, but in a competitive market where the listing prices don’t mean anything anymore, it can become a skill to correctly figure out what a house will go for. That is why you should look at it as playing a game! Bet what you feel comfortable with on the houses you want even if it’s below the asking price because you never know! We saw houses listed only to be terminated and relisted 3-4 times before selling below asking!

You could also play the waiting game and wait till summer when supply is highest and delusional sellers (often propped up by their overpromising agents) calm down or get desperate, and submit a bid based on what you think the house is worth (according to comparables) or what it’s worth to you. Either way, don’t worry too much about offending the listing agent with a lowball offer. The worst thing that can happen is you forfeit the $10 you spent on getting a bank draft (we submitted a photo of one with all our offers to make it more enticing - as trivial as that sounds), don’t win the bid or they come back to you and ask you (or everyone who submitted an offer in one case for us *such a slimy move in my opinion*) to improve, at which point you can still walk away as we did once or twice.


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4. Stick to your guns!


With that in mind, remember to stick to your guns! If you’ve submitted a fair bid or even a pretty good bid on a home only for the selling agent to come back and ask you to improve, you can and should say no if you don’t feel comfortable. Like I said before, in two weeks’ time, there will be a whole new slew of houses on the market and the one you just lost out on will be a thing of the past. Agents are in it to get the most out of the sale for their clients, so don’t get offended or discouraged when they come back to you with a cheeky remark. Instead, stick to your guns because there is nothing they can say that will make you feel worse than overpaying for a house!

The same goes for the type of house you want! I knew I wanted a Victorian and although I did entertain Adam and my mom once or twice to see houses that weren’t Victorians, I rarely like them and wanted to move forward with them. In the 1-2 cases where we did, the price and location were so great it would have been too great of an investment opportunity to pass up (although I will admit, I was certainly relieved when we didn’t win)!

The point is, if you know what kind of house you want, stick to your guns because odds are 1) you’ll waste less time if you have a narrow search vs. a wide search (i.e. a specific neighborhood or a type of architecture style) 2) you’ll be able to pick up some interior design ideas for similar spaces to what you inevitably will end up with, and 3) it’s only a matter of time before you do win a bid, so make sure you stick to your guns and get the house you REALLY want!


SOME OF THE VICTORIAN HOUSES WE WENT TO SEE IN TORONTO

5. Take advantage of holidays, snowstorms, etc.


I swear, one of the reasons Adam and I won our detached home was because it was listed 2-4 days before Fathers Day, and offer night was the Monday after. In total, there were 6 bids which, although it was not the lowest number we had seen, was still pretty good! If you want to have less competition on a house, take advantage of holidays like Mother Day, Fathers Day, Canada Day (or 4th of July for those in the US), Labour Day, etc., especially in the summer when people will be outside enjoying the nice weather or heading up to the cottage. Alternatively, I’ve heard from friends that snowstorms in the winter can cause the same effect! Regardless, the fewer people that view the house the higher the chances you will experience less competition which automatically makes your bid more competitive!


I hope you enjoyed this blog post about tips for first time home buyers and my experience buying my first home. I hope it helps you avoid feeling hopeless about buying a house as well as severe anxiety about buying a house. If you have any comments or questions about buying a house for the first time, or want me to write about other topics that could help you figure out how to prepare to buy a house, please feel free to leave them in the comment section below.


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GIFT IDEAS FOR MOTHER'S DAY 2021!

Gifts for mom's to be and new moms

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GIFT IDEAS FOR MOTHER’S DAY 2021

I remember last year while researching and writing my ‘Mother’s Day Gift Guide - COVID Edition’ thinking, “What a strange time to live in.” Little did I suspect then that one trip around the sun later, we would still be battling through this pandemic, sacrificing precious time with family and friends.

This year, celebrating the people we love most like our mothers, mothers-in-law, wives, and moms-to-be on Mothers Day is going to mean even more! Not only because we lost out on celebrating their birthday or the pregnancy and birth of a friends or sibling new baby, or numerous Sunday dinners with family and BBQ’s with friends, but because this pandemic has made us treasure meaningful relationships like the ones we share with them so much more. This Mother’s Day, we are not only making up for lost time but we are showing up with a new sense of appreciation and gratitude for all that they do (including forwarding those silly chain emails I used to find annoying but now realize are thoughtful and meant to cheer me up).

- WHEN IS MOTHER’S DAY? -

I know, it’s hard to keep track of because the exact date switches every year but, Mother’s Day always falls on the second Sunday in the month of May, which means ‘Mothers Day 2021’ falls on Sunday, May 9th!

To help inspire you, I have assembled a list of thoughtful gifts you can give that special woman in your life to shows them how special they are.


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One thing I learned from the research I did for last years for Mother’s Day (I sat down with two mothers with two very different age ranges of kids, to see what they want and like), was that YES they wanted to feel appreciated and adored, but REALLY they also wanted ‘TIME OFF!’ The number of times this sentiment was repeated was comical! Yes, they would love to be celebrated by their family but they would also appreciate ‘act of service’ as much as ‘quality time’ and ‘receiving gifts’. So if you really want to make an impact on the woman in your life, try and do all three! Take some chores/responsibilities off their plate, do an activity with them, and leave them with something to remember you by.

- GIFTS FOR YOUR MOM -

Four Seasons Toronto _MothersDay.jpg

Photography credit: Sash Doerksen


One way to make Mother’s Day memorable is to really make it an occasion. Organize an intimate get-together and treat them to a nice meal or service!

If you live in Toronto, The Four Seasons Hotel Toronto is offering luxury gift baskets with flowers, handmade chocolates, spa treats, and a bottle of champagne, as well as takeaway meals like an Afternoon Tea Tower with house-made sweet treats and a selection of tea. Additionally, if you want to go even BIGGER, you can order a family feast dreamed up by Chef de Cuisine Nicholas Trosien of Café Boulud which includes options like a roast beef prime rib, a garlic and black pepper roast leg of lamb, and a salt-crusted red snapper dinner! YUM!

Since leisurewear will continue to be the universal uniform for the foreseeable future, one thing you can do this Mother’s Day is treat your mom to some luxurious leisurewear.

Free People has been killing the loungewear game this past year and they have so many cute (and affordable!) sets including this Picnic Sweater Set that comes in multiple colours! Not only is their stuff super comfy and loose but I would totally wear these cropped pants out of the house once things start to open up again!


With summer on its way, perhaps a new, straw braided wide brim hat from Love and Lore could make the perfect gift for mom. Made exclusively available at Indigo, this beautiful hat offers optimal sun protection while also being versatile and elegant. She can wear it while on the patio catching up on her morning emails, or while gardening. Not to mention it goes with everything from gardening attire to her favourite sundress!


- GIFTS FOR MOM TO BE & NEW MOMS -

Made by a mom for moms, this Canadian-owned, steroid-free, fragrance-free, organic, plant-based skincare brand called Satya makes products to soothe all kinds of skin irritations and inflammation like eczema, psoriasis, sunburns, bug bites, rashes, chaffing, chapping, etc. Every mom-to-be or new mom should have a bottle of their balm on hand in case their little one experiences diaper rash, itchiness, or dryness. The number of uses you can get out of a single bottle is endless and is great for not just baby but mom too! It is even safe to use on animal paws when they crack from the winter salt!

With salons and spas still closed, it’s hard to give the gift of ‘time off for pampering’ this year but what if you could give that special lady the ultimate experience right at home?

Enter this premium Organic bamboo extendable bathtub caddy that features a spot to hold a glass of wine, a candle, and some soap or your phone, and an adjustable book/tablet propping bar! All you have to do is run a nice bubble bath, set the mood with a couple of nice smelling candles, roll up some towels as they do at the spa, play some relaxing music on the iPad or cue up her favourite show, and there you go! Plus, this organic bamboo caddy is totally waterproof and features non-slip gips so you can expect it to last a really long time and feel very sturdy.

If I had $100 I would bet that every morning the new mom you have in mind, pours herself a cup of coffee or tea and has to reheat it about 2-3 times before she is actually able to finish it.

New moms are so busy not to mention get distracted easily, and rightfully so! Wouldn’t it be great though if you could help make their lives a little bit easier by ensuring their coffee stays hot long enough for them to finish it?

If you have never heard of Yeti Tumbler’s they are a superior thermal tumbler with a vacuum sealed stainless steel design. They are completely BPA-free, dishwasher safe, and have a No Sweat, double-wall insulated design to make sure your hands stay dry and unaffected by the temperature of your drink. It also has a magnets lid flap that keeps your water, beer, or favorite drink on lock should it slip out of her hands, while also making it easy to access! It’s also not just for hot beverages but is great for keeping drinks cold as well!


- GIFT IDEAS FOR MOTHER IN LAW -

Falling asleep will never feel more luxurious than when it is done with a silk pillowcases pressed against your skin. Not only are they amazing at minimizing friction which dries out your hair, making it appear dull and causes serious bedhead frizz over time, but it doesn’t soak up all your expensive anti-aging creams while you sleep or cause creases on your face. Plus, silk is a natural fabric that is known for its cooling effects and breathable nature ensuring you have a more restful night’s sleep.

When it comes to purchasing the perfect silk pillowcase online there are a few things to keep in mind: 1) instead of thread count, silk uses momme - aim for something above 22 to ensure it’s very smooth to the touch, and 2) Mulberry silk is the highest quality of silk you can find (the Egyptian cotton of silk) so look for a pillowcase made of Mulberry silk to ensure high quality!

Two brands I would recommend are SLIP (uses Mulbury Pure Silk 22 momme) and Fishers Finery (uses Mulbury Pure Silk 25 momme)

Does your mother-in-law love to cook? Does she have a green thumb? Perhaps it’s time for you to introduce her to a Click and Grow Indoor Garden that allows her to grow fresh organic herbs all year round!

This Click and Grow Smart Garden 9 piece indoor gardening kit features Click and Grow Smart Soil plant pods with embedded non-GMO seeds that do not have or require any herbicides, pesticides, or fungicides! With the use of the Click and Grow energy efficient LED grow lights this indoor gardening kit can grow her favorite culinary herbs, salad greens, and/or favorite flowers all year round. All you need to do to start growing is put the plant pods into their cavities, plug in the power adaptor, fill the water reservoir, and that's it! She will be on her way to your first harvest in no time!

Simple yet a step up from a classic stud or hoop, these 14k Gold Dipped Toni Knocker Earrings from Jenny Bird are about to become your mother-in-law’s new favorite piece of jewelry!

No occasion is needed, these high polished earrings have a versatile classic design that is great to wear every day no matter what your style.

I have purchased a few Jenny Bird pieces myself and can attest to the quality and longevity of her products! I have never experienced any skin irritations or manufacturing issues, and considering the simple and effortless style of the Toni Knockers, she’ll definitely get a lot of use out of them!


INTERESTED IN MOTHER’S DAY DIY GIFTS? CHECK OUT THESE IDEAS!


- DIY MOTHER’S DAY CARD & IDEAS -

Although a repeat offender from last year’s Mother’s Day gift guide, this DIY Mother’s Day gift card idea is so sweet and easy to make, it is worthy of repeating. I ended up making a pressed flower DIY Mother’s Day card for my mother last year with an orchid flower that fell off my plant and a sheet of thick watercolor paper, and she just loved it! It’s also a great way to upcycle a beautiful flower and create something thoughtful and unique. In case you missed it last year, here is the youtube tutorial on how to do it!

If you don’t have flowers in your house or aren’t into the pressed flower idea, here are some easy handmade pop-up card tutorials you can try using paper that is also really nice!

Since you can’t take your mom out to do something fun this year or treat her to a spa day, you may also want to consider creating a few I.O.Us or a coupon book to throw in with your card. I created this template below for my mother after she requested ‘acts of service’ coupons for her birthday and just switched up the image so I could repurpose it for this Mother’s Day blog post! Feel free to print it off and use it!

Mothers Day Coupon Template-01.jpg

I hope you enjoyed this Mother’s Day 2021 Gift Guide and found good gift ideas for your mother, mother in law or mother-to-be! If you have any comments or questions please feel free to leave them in the comment section below.


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UPCYCLED DIY FAUX CERAMIC VASES


Oops I did it again! I’m back with another awesome DIY tutorial that has been trending on Tik Tok - DIY painted vases using upcycled old wine and alcohol bottles! I love the look of these DIY ceramic vases and the way they dress up a space. Doing this DIY honestly made me so excited to decorate my new place (whenever we find it) and when topped off with some dried flowers, a tapered candle or fresh flowers, they bring a whole new level of cuteness to home decor. Creating the DIY ceramic coating is so easy and only requires one ingredient other than your paint to achieve. Not to mention it adheres so well to glass so you really only need two coats to get the full effect. If you want to create a beautiful but cheap vase centerpiece for your home I highly recommend giving this little DIY of mine a go!

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MATERIALS:

Makes 1 Vase

A Up-Cycled Bottle - I used a Don Julio and Cointreau bottle
Air Dry Clay
Wax Paper
Acrylic Paint - mix to colour of choice
Baking Powder
Paint Brushes
A Mixing Utensil - I used the end of a plastic fork

Extras:
Goo Gone
A Takeout Container - to be used as base that you can easily rotate



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INSTRUCTIONS:

Remove labels from bottle and any additional stickers. If you have trouble I recommend using Goo Gone. Allow to air dry until completely dry.

Next, we will create the clay rings for the neck of the bottle. Roll out clay until you reach a uniform width and cut desired amount of pieces into equal lengths making sure that they are long enough to go around the neck of the bottle.

Grab one piece of clay at a time and wrap it around the neck of the bottle sealing the ends together with a little water. Continue this process the whole way up the neck. Once finished, set aside to dry for minimum 1 hour.

Once the clay has dried, place it on a pedestal (I used a takeout container). This will make it easier to rotate when painting so you dont have to touch the bottle.

On a palette (I used a paper plate), mix your acrylic paint to desired colour using a mixing utensil (I used a fork). Make sure you have enough for the entire bottle (better to have more than not enough as it will be difficult to get the same colour). Add in baking powder, 1/2 a teaspoon at a time until you reach your desired consistency. I used 2 tablespoons of paint to 1 Teaspoon of baking powder. Mix until baking powder is well incorporated.

Using a brush, paint the bottles with your paint mixture. Paint as many coats as necessary until necessary until the bottle is fully coated. Set aside to dry for 24 hours before use.

Happy Crafting!


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I hope you enjoyed this DIY as much as I do. If you have any comments please leave them below and I'll be happy to answer them as soon as I can! Happy crafting!!!


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DIY MACRAME COASTERS & PLACEMATS HACK


Macrame home decor has been super trendy for some time now and I love the bohemian, natural element they bring to a space. As I look for a new home, I find myself fantasizing about how I plan to decorate it and welcoming people over once we are able to entertain again. I love the idea of incorporating nudes and natural elements into my kitchen and dining room and recently learned about this DIY Macrame hack that can be used for pretty much anything from a coffee coaster to a fruit bowl placemat to chargers on your dinner table. You don’t even need to make it round as the same steps apply to any shape you choose. If you’re really into the trend as well and are looking for a new macrame project to try, you are going to love this easy macrame DIY and my step-by-step macrame how-to tutorial below!

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MATERIALS:

Makes 1 Coaster

Heat Resistant Base
Macrame Thread
Really Sharp Scissors - if you have fabrics scissors I would use those!
Hot Glue Gun and Glue
Comb


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INSTRUCTIONS:

Fine the center of the heat resistant base and glue a small loop onto it using the end of the string.

Working quickly, glue down the string in a spiral direction, until the base is completely covered. Cut cord leaving a few inches at the end.

Next, take the cord and measure the circumference of the finished base, adding an extra inch or two for safe measure before cutting.

Next, you will need to cut out 5 inch pieces of cord in order to make the tassel knots. The number you will need will vary depending on the length of the cord you just measured for the circumference.

Tie each piece of 5 inch string to the circumference cord using a cow hitch knot. Repeat until the entire length of cord is covered in knots. Make sure to tie the knots tightly and as close together as possible.

Next, unravel the fibers of each tassel and or using a comb, brush the tassels so they come undone and fray nicely.

When done, glue the tassel cord to the circumference of the base so that it is flush to the base.

In order to add further stabilization, flip base over an glue in the gaps between the tassel cord and the base.

Using sharp scissors, cut the tassels so they are even in length to your desired length.

Trim off excess glue and loose fibers.


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I hope you enjoyed this DIY macrame placemat and coster tutorial as much as I do. If you have any comments please leave them below and I'll be happy to answer them as soon as I can! Happy crafting!!!


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12 BOOKS TO KICK START YOUR MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY!

books for mental health

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As season 2 of the Is That Soh podcast comes to an end, I am reminded of how far I have come on my journey towards healing, growth, and increased self awareness. After years of self-neglect, negative self talk, denial of past trauma and lack of confidence, it took me hitting my emotional rock bottom to start fighting for myself. With every step, I found a way back to feelings of joy and happiness, back to my authentic self, back to my heart’s center. I found the key to my soul and unlocked the confidence and worth I had buried there under all the shame and fear I had previously used as a protective shield. Although difficult to face at times, my mental health had been something I had overlooked for years, one I could no longer afford to ignore. I was a shell of the person I am today and I have myself and everyone who came on the podcast to thank for showing me that life can be beautiful when you learn to love imperfections, heal traumas and find your flow despite not having all the answers.

Today, I stand stronger, taller, and better than ever before, and much of that came from the conversations I had, the work I put in, and the knowledge I gained in the process. To help you kick start your journey towards a better, happier, more meaningful life too I wanted to share some of the readings and podcast mental health book recommendations I have collected during the past year so that you too can begin your journey home to yourself. From motivation and empowering research based psychology books on mental health to stories of healing and self compassion to understanding love and spirituality, this is a roundup of 12 of the best books for mental health you should add to your reading list!

Psst. If you haven’t checked out the Is That Soh podcast yet make sure to do so. I cover everything from the difference in Mental health vs Mental Illness to identifying self-sabotaging habits and addressing trauma.


OTHER PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY


- MOTIVATIONAL & EMPOWERING -




The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.

Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.

In this must-read book for anyone striving to succeed, pioneering psychologist Angela Duckworth shows parents, educators, athletes, students, and business people-both seasoned and new-that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a focused persistence called “grit.”

Why do some people succeed and others fail? Sharing new insights from her landmark research on grit, MacArthur “genius” Angela Duckworth explains why talent is hardly a guarantor of success. Rather, other factors can be even more crucial such as identifying our passions and following through on our commitments.


- HEALING -


If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent's behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood . By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment.

This is a story of coming home to yourself. To Call Myself Beloved: A Story of Hope, Healing, and Coming Home offers the permission you’ve been looking for to simply be yourself and accept that with courage, pride, and grace. It really is that simple, even if it is that complicated. Too many of us are tethered to the expectations of other people, living with the feeling that we need to look outside ourselves to feel whole and loved, that we need to keep “the mask” on and hide who we really are; we read book after book, see therapist after therapist, take course after course, all with the intent to “fix what’s broken,” sending us on a quest to continuously solve a problem that isn’t real with a solution that doesn’t exist. And it leaves us dissatisfied, constantly wanting more. The secret is, we’re not broken, we are healing. We are learning to sort through the messages of what we’ve been told are true versus what we believe to be true, and we are figuring out how it aligns with what we want out of our life. Equal parts self-help, memoir, and cozied up on the couch talking to a trusted friend, To Call Myself Beloved is informed by lessons learned through navigating the most cataclysmic events of one woman’s life, and realizing throughout each one that “I am still okay.” Let this book guide you through the process of adulting—finding clarity in what you want, confidence in who you are, and the courage to stay true to both, even if that means making big changes in mindset and behavior—simply through the rebellious act of being yourself. This is the chaos of becoming. Can you love yourself enough to come home to yourself, and learn to call yourself beloved? Yes, you f*cking can.


LISTEN TO MY MENTAL HEALTH PODCAST!


- RELATIONSHIPS -


Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.

With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.

Do you feel like you are too nice? Sherry Argov's Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask:

· Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change?
· Why do men take nice girls for granted?
· Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself?

Full of advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, "she says/he thinks" tables, and the author's unique "Attraction Principles," Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you've discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you'll not only increase the romantic chemistry—you'll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.


- SELF LOVE -

Kristin Neff, Ph.D., says that it’s time to “stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind.” Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind offers expert advice on how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects, enabling you to achieve your highest potential and a more contented, fulfilled life.

More and more, psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving toward self-compassion in the treatment of their patients—and Dr. Neff’s extraordinary book offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living.  

A memoir of betrayal and self-discovery by bestselling author Glennon Doyle, Love Warrior is a gorgeous and inspiring account of how we are all born to be warriors: strong, powerful, and brave; able to confront the pain and claim the love that exists for us all. This chronicle of a beautiful, brutal journey speaks to anyone who yearns for deeper, truer relationships and a more abundant, authentic life.



Brené Brown’s game-changing New York Times bestseller, The Gifts of Imperfection, has sold more than 2 million copies in more than 30 different languages and is celebrating its 10th Anniversary in print. Forbes magazine named Gifts one of the "Five Books That Will Actually Change Your Outlook On Life." Through this self-help classic we find courage to overcome paralyzing fear and self-consciousness, strengthening our connection to the world and helping us to believe we are worthy of self-discovery, personal growth, and boundless love.

A motivational and inspiring guide to wholehearted living, rather than just the average self-help book, with this groundbreaking work Brené Brown, Ph.D., bolsters the self-esteem and personal development process through her characteristic heartfelt, honest storytelling. With original research and plenty of encouragement, she explores the psychology of releasing our definitions of an “imperfect” life and embracing living authentically. Brown’s “ten guideposts” are benchmarks for authenticity that can help anyone establish a practice for a life of honest beauty—a perfectly imperfect life.


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- SPIRITUALITY & SEXUALITY-


It's no wonder that The Power of Now has sold over 2 million copies worldwide and has been translated into over 30 foreign languages. Much more than simple principles and platitudes, the book takes readers on an inspiring spiritual journey to find their true and deepest self and reach the ultimate in personal growth and spirituality: the discovery of truth and light.


Restoring a sense of sacred significance to the act of lovemaking, the practice of sexual magic also enables couples to celebrate the highest form of erotic communication. Sexuality becomes a way to honor both physical instincts and spiritual yearnings. A world-renowned expert in the field of Tantric sexuality, Anand sensitively guides readers through a series of unique exercises, many of which are based on ancient erotic rituals. In the process, readers will become "sexual magicians," gaining enchanting new powers that are magically accessible to every man and woman. Beautifully illustrated, with more than sixty explanatory drawings, The Art of Sexual Magic is a life-changing book for those who seek to discover the magic potential of sexual energy. It invites lovers on an exciting, unexplored pathway and richly rewarding journey.



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